Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

Living at a time when rampant greed and open religious fanatics, Nazis and bigots seem to be winning with no chance of losing, with planet-wide destruction looming, while a lot of my time goes to stuff I don't really like, is a really bad fit for having grown up with rampant greed and conservatives winning, planet-wide destruction looming, and a lot of my time going to stuff I utterly hated.

I'm really hoping that at some point external conditions will make it *easier* to grapple with my CPTSD.

have you ever considered that Link looks not unlike a Keebler elf and therefore other factions, like the fish people y'all wanted to fuck a few months back, probably *also* have people you don't see in game who make cookies?

AHA! I thought. I have spoons and potentially a guest in a few days, I'll do a little of the cleanup I've put off for a while and THEN I'll cut my hair! Sadly, I did some cleanup and am now trying to scrape together enough energy for cutting hair.

I'm really hoping that since it's getting towards summer, the accursed light of the sun will bring an end to the Cinto-Cintuenia or whatever they're having up there. I swear if they have a blood fountain like in 1e VtM and it leaks through the floor I'm calling the landlord.

Nobody ever writes vampire fiction about this. It's always Lord Greyholme is driving his Volvo when he falls hard for someone 1/20th his age, or Philippe's dysfunctional polycule with his Sire and his Childe or whatever. Never "man it sucks living in an apartment under vampires who've decided to throw some sort of Cinto-Cintuenia."

oh boy, I thought the upstairs neighbors were just having 0230 yelling and children running around. But now there's singing, so maybe someone's having a 0230 birthday party. I live under extroverted musical Latino vampires.

pausing in listening to "Peturbator" for "One More Kiss, Dear" while the rain pours down outside

I blame today's visit to the Redmond Barrens, chummer

It’s a new level of bitterness that I started drawing because it was a way to get minis and later furry art that I couldn’t afford, and years later some rich fucks promote their damn soul killing machines with how learning to draw is hard.

https://www.africa.upenn.edu/Articles_Gen/Letter_Birmingham.html

is a remarkably well thought out response to anti-trans and anti-abortion "laws" for someone writing about the Civil Rights movement and sixty years in the past.

forge my armor in the old fire
my spirit sings bright and clear
even in HERE.
I'll be reborn, someday, someday
if I wait long enough
I don't have to be afraid.
I don't WANT to be afraid.
And you can't tell me what my spirit tells me isn't true, can you?

I live cement
I HATE this street
give dirt to me
I bite lament

Oh wow, there’s a whole chunk of Lynnwood which I never knew existed with a games store, a bookstore, some places to eat, and a moderate sized park I’m about to explore!

oh how cool, there's what looks like a native Swedish word (rustning) as well as "pansar" to describe a suit of armor!

I have now moved from the Jaws soundtrack to watching stuff about armor and "Modern History TV" and have gone from omg sharks are fantastic to omg horses are fantastic. I should probably watch some cat videos to balance this out.

*sigh* the part of the soundtrack where Hooper says "Fast fish" and the movie is no longer about horror, it's about how fucking amazing white sharks are, how completely amazing it is that we share the planet with them and can see them. And in the dismal mood I'm in this probably predictably sets off a crying jag.

I probably should make a salmon shark fursona at some point.

OST Jaws (1975): 09. Ben Gardner’s Boat https://youtu.be/tO-EWpQeoug via @YouTube

Bllbbbbb!! BLLLLBBBBBBLLLLLBBB! *surfaces, pulls off mask, gasps loudly *

Thanks @frostwolf I am now listening to the Jaws soundtrack again and predictably I now really want to go swimming or hop on a boat.

I have mixed feelings about "no more half [whatever]."

My *opinion* is; rules differences for ancestries *are* mostly good (because they're different species, not humans with indistinguishable physical and intellectual capacities), *but* it can shade into racism. Ie; I can see "an elf" being naturally faster and more agile than a similar human (different species) but I can't see cultural differences between hunter-gatherer wild elf and bookish gray elf playing out in biological differences in strength.

I definitely feel "intelligence" (and to a lesser extent "wisdom" and "charisma") are loaded terms where stat modifiers should *always* be off limits. That gets uncomfortably close to justification for real world exploitation and genocide. Moving along...

Like it or not, D&D comes from a somewhat racist context (for instance Robert E Howard's fiction, where Aquilonians are innately different from the Picts they're trying to conquer), and half-elves/half-orcs are an inclusion from where Tolkien, who was fairly good about this stuff, was racist. "Half elves are not just culturally but biologically different from elf or human" teeters on the edge of profoundly offensive. Theoretically you could take hybrids out of the game and I'd be cool with that, but... I'm not.

Given that I'm from groups where being recently made invisible by pigeonholing us as "white" is the latest step in genociding us, I'm really uncomfortable with "disappearing" mixed ancestry adventurers!

Unfortunately I feel like reductionism here - and you need reductionism to jam reality into something you can quickly play as a game - is a real problem (when you simplify armor into "AC," it doesn't touch on anyone's bitter family history) and I don't have an easy answer.

That also took my mood from "simmering anger at everything to wanting" to "find anything that looks like an oppressor and beat the shit out of it with my fists," and a *good* development of this is I realized that being this angry doesn't make me an out of control monster - but it does mean my judgment's really screwed up for a little while, and acting out of anger at the next thing that pisses me off (not hard in that mood) might not be what I honestly *want* to do.