Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

finished job hunt stuff for the day, set up a phone screen, suggested times for an in person for a thing over on East Side I actually would like maybe. I should probably get my ass offline, maybe grab a walk, eat lunch, nap.

today is the greatest day I've ever known
can't live for tomorrow, I might not have that long
I'll tear my heart out
before I get out
pink ribbon scars that never forget
I tried so hard to cleanse this regret
my angel wings were bruised and restrained
my belly stings
today is
today is
today is
the greatest day

Then I realized if the combination of things made me feel so completely awful, that's almost ASSUREDLY something specific hitting buttons from high school or earlier.

#drawing today started with big ambitions ideas and it turned out what I actually wanted to do was draw anatomy and faces. So; night hag in walking cauldron, chained angel, and a satyr. Artistic nudity in the literal sense (no clothes drawn because I was figuring out where everything was).

NIGHT of the Living PEOPLE AT THE SAME COFFEESHOP Who DECIDED YOU NEED TO HEAR Every DETAIL of Their CONVERSATIONS

BIG BIG BIG CAT
BIG BIG BIG CAT
BIG BIG BIG CAT
THIS IS MY GIANT KITTY!
PUTTING A RIBBON ON ITS HEAD
WHERE I SLEEP ITS ALWAYS WITH ME
I LIKE ITS FLUFFY BODY!

* stomps on accelerator *

listening to really sentimental Yiddish songs while drawing space undead and chained angels and lizardfolk amargasaurus riders and stuff, you know, normal Sunday activity

they have a big mirror over the table so they can watch themselves playing D&D, carefully positioned so that you can't just look up and see what the DM's rolling. Real fancy.

Oh heck yes now I have date mahmoul and got a usable size tahini as part of collecting stuff to make sabih!

and again, the simple dualism which appeals to people and more when things get stressy, means what's actually "I am simultaneously a smart, competent, functioning adult AND an unmotivated anxious mess with weird kinks that embarrass me, past attempts to get The Good Life which utterly tanked, and fewer and fewer years left" parses more as an OR.

given how yesterday went down - and I was able to get out of there early - I guess it makes sense that I'm in this weird little broken headspace rn

carrots come from carrot seeds, I'm the one to do it

prior to about 1500, medieval Europeans believed carrots sprung into existence simultaneously

https://www.reddit.com/r/vexillology/comments/vxmx4m/i_combined_the_progress_pride_flag_with_the/

these are all over Bellingham. I'm not sure if I dislike them (obvious "my gender is college town") or really like them ("our town is Queer and if you don't like it, there's plenty of other WA for you to be homophobic in")

awake 4+ hours later dead sober and with terrible acid reflux; I said *what*?

lost as i may be
in the fog of my own noise and trivialities
Grand Holy Mother grant me clarity
i am standing on the edge of forever
forever

we have just folded space from Ix
many machines on Ix
new machines
far better than the ones on Richesse

fuck this song's making me want to walk somewhere I can get cigs, but that'd mean putting on pants, wouldn't it

corn liquor tastes sweeter in this town
can it be it's the same as the last?
Swear Ah seen your face elsewhere before,
just as familiar as a bottle and a glass
hey darlin'! sleepin' on the blacktop
hey darlin'! runnin' through the trees, honey
hey darlin'! leavin' for the next town,
less'n mah sense catches up with me

the rum pours strong and thin
beat out the dust-man with the rain dogs
aboard a shipwreck train
give my umbrella to the rain dogs
for I am a rain dog, too

oh how we danced with the Rose of Traleigh
her long hair black as a raven
oh how we danced and you whispered to me;
we'll never be going back home