Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

just because they’re “Mexican grilling onions” is not a reason to shake a bundle in each hand like maracas while yelling ARRIBA ARRIBA

Combining “nobody appears to notice my drawings on new site” with “WotC has given me yet another reason to lose interest in D&D” makes me feel like my hobbies become less and less a means to connect with people

Need to figure out how to honor my emotions as someone angry who can hate very deeply, who has been given good reasons for being rabidly pissed off, in a way that also organically steps away from them without obsessing.

Also I own tons of books and I’m not a bad cook; I probably don’t need another magazine or a big bowl of ramen.

Okay, AI supporters are definitely like TERFs and religious fundamentalists in that they’ve decided that since their opinion is convenient, it must be objectively true; since they can’t be repeatedly punched either the only argument that might get through is also not an option, therefore best thing you can do is try to retain sanity elsewhere.

#drawings today; three adventurers discover a room full of treasures, and a wizard and fighter wander through dwarf statues in the mist, unaware they’re being watched.

A batch of different things (job hunt, losing a temp job with no warning with no explanation, rent increase/sudden officially justified additions to rent, the square-buildings-cars-dog-ownership-for-GOOD people, AI, Trump and Desantis, everything with Twitter) are all stressy but actually largely independent (beyond our society is so committed to greed and elitism that the world is dying and there's no real social safety net).

Stress means I don't have spoons to think about terrible things as independent and may grab onto a simplified explanation. Part of why I was so self-hating for so long was "the reason things are going this bad are THAT I'M INEPT, UGLY, STUPID, AND UNLOVABLE" was a simplified explanation that offered the hope that somehow if I could just be good instead, rather than face the existential terror that this was almost completely random and unaffected.

The simplified explanation I find myself thinking here is "I'm supposed to exist for others' convenience above all else, I have no business really getting to do anything else and my access to such will be cut off," which is a very childhood set of messages.

Another offshoot of Twitter falling apart is moving to Bluesky, where nothing I ever seem to post gets me any of the wild popularity other people seem to have there, and that's hitting other stuff from childhood, that's a repeat of feelings from when grade school ended and dumped me into high school but nothing I did seemed to make me more well liked, because I didn't know others starting out.

Made corned beef hash from scratch, CW food photo

Still feel like if I knew I’d die later today I’d gladly take it, it feels like there can be no denial or bargaining so all that’s left to do is accept this as my justifiably assigned place, or ping between anger and depression

but forest helps, enough to actually want food

“Everyone on X-Men is always talkin’ aboot love. Yuck.

“But now it’s time t’tell you aboot what Wolverine loves! Th’ thing Wolverine does better than anybody else!

* “I Love Trash” starts playing *

“Oh I love BEER
Anythin’ Pilsner or lagered or hoppy,
Anythin’ pale ale or oatmeal or poppy
Yeah I love BEER.

“Now will you look at this, bub?”

Puck! He’s just like Wolverine only even shorter, even harier, and even Canadianer!

anyway the horrible self loathing with s**cidal ideation is back, so I'm gonna get outside and walk some

Anyone can combine Flash Gordon serials, spaghetti westerns, and Kurosawa period films and come out with Star Wars, it happened all the time in the mid-70s! Likewise anyone can riff off 40s serials to generate Raiders of the Lost Ark and pff, Jaws is just Moby Dick, that's easy! Anyone with the money for the tool can just CRANK THOSE RIGHT ON OUT!

And I mean, if a visual artist is going to be informed by the sort of folks that usually awe them - let's say Wyeth, Tolouse Latrec, Leyendecker, Rockwell - then you can just REGURGITATE bits of Wyeth, Latrec, Leyendecker and Rockwell paintings in something vaguely like a coherent framework and it's basically better than some mere little underpaid peon who's wanted to do this since high school can possibly produce right?

listen;

if you ever try to justify the rich techbros art-theft, job theft tool to me with talking about how there's no real creativity out there, and everything's a remix, especially if you tell me it's EVIDENCE not opinion?

Then you can fuck off and die you goddamn class traitor. I have no use for you.

Best Zeppelin track?

Okay, last time I was done with D&D was playing through Tomb of Horrors as a kid, you can see how long THAT lasted. But dissing on artists I admire getting to live the (underpaid) dream with AI and a non apology is a little much on top of everything else WotC pulled this year; I think I’m done with 5e.

see Jack was very slightly scarred in an accident, after which he built the first Jack Ball and affixed it to his head while it was molten hot, he’s never been seen without his Jack Ball since. And thus he rules all Jack In The Box as a benevolent tyrant who allows breakfast foods after 10 AM able to view his franchise kingdom through the cameras of Jack Balls on vehicle antennas throughout the west coast

see characters in He Man and the Masters of the Universe are named for their traits. Like Tri-Clops has three eyes, Skeletor looks kinda like a skeleton, or Hordak flirts li

Part of tonight's conversations were about places we grew up. Honestly though I remember some days as being much hotter or more humid than others, the big thing I remember is how *much* of the year it was warm or actively hot. Most of what I remember is about trees far more than about soil or clouds other than when it rained. Without really any comparison childhood didn't include awareness of my home being unusually hot or humid.

What this means is tonight was literally the first time I thought about how my terrible acne in high school might be related to the greater heat and humidity!

popular songs from the 1920s are all like "My Straw-Hat-Season-Sweetie," "Glee-Club Gloria" or "Farting in the Bathtub" and sound like people desperately trying to convince themselves that WWI never happened by bouncing up and down