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do NOT reply to a message about "what year did you receive your college degree, we specialize in placing recent grads and those within 6 years" with "you can fuck right off with your ageism, exploiter parasite."

coyote sing along hour, RAtM lyrics, all caps, profoundly violent 

THIS TIME THE BULLET COLD ROCKED YA
A YELLOW RIBBON INSTEAD OF A SWASTIKA
NOTHIN' PROPER ABOUT YOUR PROPAGANDA
FOOLS FOLLOW RULES WHEN THE SET COMMANDS YA
THEY SAID IT WAS BLUE WHEN YOUR BLOOD WAS RED
THAT'S HOW YOU GOT A BULLET BLASTED THROUGH YOUR HEAD
...
JUST VICTIMS OF THE IN HOUSE DRIVE BY
THEY SAY JUMP YOU SAY HOW HIGH

... I'm listening to the 8 bit version of this album with no vocals, how the heck do I remember so much of it?

if we don't take action now,
we'll settle for nothing later
we'll settle for nothing now,
and we'll settle for nothing later

coyote sing along hour, RAtM, all caps 

THE PRESENT CURRICULUM?
I PUT MY FIST IN 'EM
EUROCENTRIC EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!
SEE RIGHT THROUGH THE RED WHITE AND BLUE DISGUISE
WITH LECTURE I PUNCTURE THE CULTURE OF LIES

remembering this one place in Santa Cruz;

the owner/cook/apparent only employee was this old Black dude, had really good hot links and collards and I forget what else, the walls were full of old photographs and kitsch, and the speakers played nothing but funk. It was like you'd opened a door in space time and walked into Detroit. And unfortunately the march of time did march of time things, so he retired and what took his place was this really generic Mexican place with NO funk whatsoever.

* me, age 7, watching Fantasia *; oh MAN being a tyrannosaurus would SUCK actually, you just fight other dinosaurs in the rain and then the KT mass extinction happens

* the blue jays nesting in the elderberry tree out back *; Bird. BIRD!

Life in a Medieval City includes the term “viticulture” which I haven’t previously seen. Now I realize, despite Champagne‘s reputation for wine, grapes would’ve been incredibly important; before cane sugar, raisins are a shelfstable, easy way to add sweetness to baked goods. I wonder if 13th c French pastry was more like Russian sweets than modern French pastry!

I gotta say "a heavy set Mexican who paints garage kits" is possibly the most wholesome, normal, sane thing for any celebrity to be in 2023

YouTube music link, Mako, all caps 

Conan the Barbarian - 02 - An Age Undreamed Of w Mako Dialogue youtu.be/3UTBlatoJXA via @YouTube

LONG AGO IN A DISTANT LAND
I AKU THE SHAPESHIFTING MASTER OF DARKNESS
UNLEASHED AN UNSPEAKABLE EVIL
AND UNTO THIS CONAN
DESTINED TO BEAR THE JEWELED CROWN OF AQUILONIA UPON A TROUBLED BROW
STEPPED FORTH TO OPPOSE ME
BEFORE THE FINAL BLOW COULD BE STRUCK
I OPENED A PORTAL IN TIME
AND FLUNG THE FOOL INTO THE FUTURE
WHERE MY EVIL IS LAW
LET ME TELL THEE OF THE DAYS OF HIGH ADVENTURE

omg

Conan the Destroyer - Intro [8bit Cover] youtu.be/_64G94BiUCs via @YouTube

* repeatedly hits the Jump and Attack buttons to get the really awesome jump attack*
* until Conan drops sword in the middle of a crucial battle and has to punch opponents until he can pick it back up again *

Robocop Arcade Music Soundtrack (1988) youtu.be/kxEkWdm6w34 via @YouTube

the dorm had the arcade game in the little break/snack room across from the French language classroom where we met for TTRPGs and consequently I associate this soundtrack with Shadowrun

also pointing this out to @electrickeet

really getting into Rite of Spring and hunching pounding my fists on the table in time to "Ritual of the Rival Tribes"

and this isn't even the best part, with the Tyrannosaurus. (Please note; for the longest time I thought the Tyrannosaurus in "Fantasia" was an Allosaurus, 'cause it's got 3 fingers and is coterminous with Stegosaurus.)

emotions, mh, journaling 

I've been low key furious for a while, when I'm not depressed, or relaxed and happy enough not to be right in a terrible headspace. I'm keenly aware the anger and depression are separate responses to exactly the same stuff, essentially reactions to loss and harm.

and I'm re-realizing that I don't *like* being angry. I don't get anything out of my self righteous fury keeping me alive, or my rage fueling my artwork, or anything like that. I don't love my anger, it scares me, I want to go back to comfortable feelings. Feeling sad is actually *more* comfortable than anger; I know some of my experiences in Ann Arbor or with my ex are gone, never to come back, but these are *sadness* rather than *despair* because they're not current situations poking at me. Eg, "Size and social changes mean Further Confusion can't take place in the Doubletree" is different from "flushing money on this apartment and ever increasing gas and grocery costs mean I will never get to Further Confusion again."

Using the Buddha's analogy, I'm fully aware that holding onto the hot coal I want to throw at my enemy is doing me no good; I'd be happy if I could ever throw the coal and since I can't, I just want to drop it.

And I now re-realize that if I spent my childhood in that space of anger/depression, how uncomfortable I am with my anger, on top of being stressed by whatever already pissed me off, naturally opened me RIGHT up to believing I was this out of control monster. Very similar to how I bought in completely to the idea that I was this utter moron.

Rain Dog boosted

other things I was awesome at 13-18ish include walking and riding public transit for miles in horrifying heat largely without AC in order to get to the games shop

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this quote from Bill Gates, spotted on Twitter, about being most likely to master whatever you do obsessively at 13-18 SO please let me know if you are hiring for

* reading Anne McCaffery, Fritz Lieber, Michael Moorcock, and Robert Howard

* building 1/72 scale AFVs despite horrifying depression

@troodon have you spotted this stuff before?

Dinosaur Vocalization Study Pt. III (2023) | Cretaceous Era II youtu.be/3a9hN-CvqUw via @YouTube

Phone screen done, scheduled Teams interview for Thursday, under 2 hours until next phone screen, put in for a batch of jobs and answered WA unemployment questions

My shoulders feel like I've fired a Nagant for a while and I should probably eat something.

in such a good mood I'm listening to the Schostakovich 7th again

also I love all the $17-18 job opportunities out there

do these people LIVE in Seattle? Do they just assume any and all of their employees are 20 somethings already forced to stay with their parents by the way this whole society was already completely fuxx0red?

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