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music, drug reference 

Better Off Dead youtu.be/ULvEnRH22UE?si=Nl5Q-C via @YouTube

again, this bass line really says "dude, what if I smoked a really giant bowl."

Says something that THE big connection I felt to Luke as a kid was that the adults were lying to him to get him to do what they wanted (stay here and do chores, don’t become a Jedi, please whack Vader and Palpatine for us).

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“Yes, yes! When strong in the Force you grow, facile liar for your own convenience you too will become, hmmmm!”

… and here it’s useful to remember that I have CPTSD, and feeling “I’m out of place, not supposed to be alive here and now” and “I’m trapped and can never get out” while horrible, are places my brain WILL go and a lot less grounded than they feel.

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Having one of those days when I feel sad, anxious, and wanting an actual vacation, more in general than due to anything specific.

a twin-seater fighter built with such obvious flaws that it's introduced with why the RAF thought this was even vaguely a good idea and, had anything other than "separate gunner and pilot roles" been related to reality, it would have revolutionized aerial combat.

"Which did you like better, Return of the Jedi or Empire Strikes Back?"
"Empire."
"Blasphemy."
"Empire had a better ending! I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and carried away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note! That's what life is, a series of down endings. All Jedi had was a buncha muppets."

re: coyote sing along hour, all caps, metal 

MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE A TRUCK
BESERKIR!
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME MAKING FUCK
BESERKIR!
MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE A ROCK BESERKIR!
BESERKIR!

THE BESERKIR IS JUST SO OBSCENE
LIKES EVIL PEOPLE Y'KNOW WHAT I MEAN
HE JUST TAKES YOUR SOUL AND RIPS YOU APART
HE'LL STEAL YOUR HEART!

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re: coyote sing along hour, all caps, metal 

ENGLISHMEN
I AM STANDING HERE
IN MY HEART I KNOW NOT AN OUNCE OF FEAR
WE ARE WAITING HERE
MY TRUSTED AXE AND ME
JUST COME AT ME
I WILL NOT FLEE

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coyote sing along hour, all caps, metal 

IN HIS LANDS HIS HONOUR INCREASED
BUT TO HIM AND HIS FOES
HE'S ONLY A BEAST
HE WAS
SKULLSEEKER
HE WAS
SKULLSEEKER
TAKING YOUR LIFE!

THIS SUMMER

SET SAIL FOR EXCITEMENT™️

AND SQUID

LOTS AND LOTS OF SQUID

SQUID ISLAND: CURSE OF THE SEPIA INK™️

Writer on about how the Panther was this amazing tank if it wasn’t vulnerable to attacks from anywhere but the front, had design flaws (fires not mentioned), decline in crew quality, and material shortages.

Which to my not-suspiciously-fan-of-everything-Wehrmacht mind sounds like a merely ok tank.

I’ve now been on hold for easily 30 minutes hearing among other things on repeat, this schpiel about The Ultimate Fishstick™️

Hell yes it’s time to listen to Hello Nasty again!

When I got back to sleep after the anxiety attack, I dreamed about petting dogs and cats, so that part was good.

ph mh - 

just now that was some sort of little environmentally driven anxiety spike, a little too sudden to be me spiraling thought wise. Wonder what it was that set that off?

I don't know about you but I've spent a huge amount of energy trying to shove what I want into the category of what I'm told is good to want because, what else am I going to think? Independence is weird and nuanced. I'd imagine that if things had gone differently and I had more money I'd still be wondering why I was sort of unhappy.

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