Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

woke up thanks to nightmare or something, anyway anxious AF.

Okay so; Reign of Fire. Dragons are roused from their long slumber deep in the earth (the Brits delved too deep trying to make a new Tube station or w/e), reducing humanity to small pockets of grim survivors.

Not the dumbest movie I’ve watched, especially on the couch, with my friend, and drinking.

We meet a community in north England, former urbanites now farming in secret, ever fearful of the dark forms that soar above them. This is actually great stuff. AND THEN AMERICANS SHOW UP. And not just any Americans, they’re an elite heavily armed military team of dragonslayers led by a bald goateed badass, burning a LOT of fuel (the farmers’ resentment of this IS a plot point) to take down th’ enemy and get claw trophies HOOAH.

Sometime after the movie’s radically changed course I’m buzzed, and start talking over the Americans only, because let’s face it, all their dialogue is the same super macho bullshit. “Mah TRUCK! MAH TRUCK! MAH truck! GUNS!” Pretty soon my friend’s doing it too. “Mah TRUCK! AM RADIO. JESUS. TRUCK!”

Eventually two remaining Brits and the bald goatee badass travel to post apocalyptic London to kill the only male dragon, vital to the species reproduction and survival. After some urbex and pointless action sequences the hero succeeds and conveniently saves the UK and civilization.

Before the final pointless action sequence, bald goatee badass Sparta-launches himself off a ruin trying to embed a fire axe in the one male dragon’s head. This doesn’t work btw. Both of us overdub his last desperate cry of “TRUUUUUUUUUCK!”

End of story, thanks for putting up with it.

I was going to post a story about “Reign of Fire,” riffing off yesterday’s “what if when Americans showed up in a movie they got a little musical sting.” Now I realize I CANNOT remember the middle of that movie; either I was that drunk or it’s that forgettable, and I don’t think I was that drunk.

Ugh everything is more compelling than this inventory tracking project. Except this phone call I have to make during lunch break.

not only would it be inappropriate to respond to “O Fortuna Imperatrix Mundi” by yelling MONTJOIE ST DENIS! and mimicking slamming down your visor, at work, but it’s also completely anachronistic

Okay as long as we’re here, you want a hot Nirvana take?

“Smells Like Teen Spirit” is Kudt trying to write a Pixies song but comes so close, you can sing “I Bleed” to it. Whereas “About a Girl” is his attempt at a Beatles song, and he NAILS it without it being any existing particular Beatles; it should have been a bigger hit.

In my intellectually fuzzed state early this morning I go quickly from;

* wow I like this, it sounds familiar
* this is a great Goth cover of “Heart Shaped Box”
* this is the album version of “Heart Shaped Box,” I’d never realized how Goth it is

Seriously had the song been presented differently you’d have dudes in long coats and eyeliner grooving to it.

#subskeet most Tolkien scholars agree that Tom Bombadil is actually one of the Maiar; given the call outs about his boots, likely Tom of Finland.

Dude, new Bombino track!

https://youtu.be/tDWHvq5Y11Q?si=dBPihip_jB7XtnfI

Muppet Dune, in which Kyle McLachlan is the only human (Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam said so)

What’s the most American nonsense/fake vocals?

I’d wonder whether anyone’s ever done the soundtrack equivalent for Americans. Like when we show up in the movie there’s a little twangy guitar motif with the vocalist singing GUUUUNS MAHHHH TRUCCKKK, and then we’re back to the normal soundtrack.

and then a little baritone chorus theme lets you know Something Russian is happening in the movie

A nice glass of tea? Horrible totalitarian regime? Submarine diving? Cats in snow? Liberally dumping dill on your pelmeni? Doesn’t matter, it gets baritone chorus.

oh FSCK yeah KEXP played my third favorite Cure song!

* Pacific Rim theme blasts *

By the time tanks, jets and missiles defeated the enormous corn, three cities were lost. And then only six months later the enormous green beans hit Manila. And then we learned this wasn't going to stop, this was just the beginning. To fight giant vegetables, we created giant vegetables of our own. The Jolly Green Giant program was born.

oh YEAH Ohio's state song!

https://youtu.be/9B4STUYsLig?si=RGYOzZdiHBXeUCZq

"I wonder if this video will tell me more about whether I have ADHD or not?" they thought, leg going at high speeds and setting the video to 1.5x regular speed because these things take half of forever if you run them normally

#drawing today, since it’s spooky season (or no longer spooky season). Partly inspired by a favorite Samurai Jack episode. Initially this was gonna have undead in that funky looking Nara looking stuff and then I thought it was WAY better suggested.

made mushroom gravy over bok choy and rice, currently eating, and this Palestinian okra stuff which is gonna go with vegan feta and maybe chick pea soup later this week