Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

okay one small bowl of malt-o-meal later I'm a little less "who I WANT to be is so different from who I'm REQUIRED to be and the irritable burned out person I am as a result" and more "I was trained to be self hating, which is even easier on ~4 hours of sleep, lower-intensity constant stress, screwed up eating schedule" followed by "oh wow I'm sleepy."

that well loved character Hickey Mouse

if you go to the theme park you can actually meet him in person!

the chunk of my personality which is "I wish someone would take care of me, but that'd require me to be likable and I don't think I am."

do drow elves introduce themselves as being from "the land of wonder, the land down under"? if so do they swear frequently and delight in a spread made of brewer's yeast, developed after they could no longer obtain marmite from the duergar? will they slip another chuul on the barbie for you m8?

Stoner Rock Album Title Table (roll 1d8 twice)

1) Wizard
2) Heavy
3) Weed
4) Dungeon
5) Trip
6) Smoke
7) Goblin
8) Green

so right now I'm listening to Wizard Weed

do NOT bother the GM with Can I Have an Oracular Severed Willem Dafoe Head like in The Northman

whoever this Ych dude is I see art of their blue canine fursona all the time

I'd figured based on the name that "Ych" was probably Geoffrey Chaucer

my emotional support fennec

Today’s iteration of “what have you got in your mouth? Drop it. Drop it!”

this world is not the fear-driven, punishment obsessed, exclusive, competitive place I learned it was as a kid. Nor is it entirely the open, inclusive, joyous place I wanted it to be as an adult. Instead it's this mix of both with things I haven't even considered yet.

I'm now realizing appropriate levels of caution are damn hard to calculate. I want to avoid hypervigilence, since living in a world which is out to get me and where attacks can come at any time, is miserable. But although I now know the world isn't out to get me, there *are* plenty of places where people can still harm me without being particularly malicious, there *are* the occasional malicious assholes, and to make it even more complex, there are places where I *am* going to be hurt, no matter what amount of hypervigilence or naive openness.

okay, calling it; I'm having problems getting back to sleep, I've been stressed out lately, it's cold enough this morning would be profoundly uncomfy, and this weekend's about to largely evaporate into family stuff and time change, so I think now's a wise time to call in sick.

however creating a wooly mouse was but a precursor to reviving the mighty sabertoothed dire mouse, terror of the Pleistocene

Tori Amos was making me SAD, so I swapped to different 90s

I have NO CLUE what this Veruca Salt track is about other than possibly buying new flannel shirts from the Federal Way Fred Meyers at 2 AM, but I'm here for it.

Thinking about getting lunch from Japanese grocery deli counter

here are some #drawings

https://youtu.be/ul_bymrBui8

listening to Sad But True in the original Mongolian gets me to shamisen takes on Metallica gets me to this, Iron Maiden’s classic song about Takeda cavalry at Nagashino.

Okay time for the Black Album.

And you know what Metallica means right?

14 14 12 16 11 12

Pretty good. Probably thief, cleric or druid.

possibly I should buy Battletech as a way of already having a pricey hobby and therefore NOT get into Kill Team/40K by the time my brain snaps into "I need to save money I need to save money I need to save IT'S NOT ACTUALLY ENJOYABLE I MAY AS WELL GET SHIT I LIKE"

you know instead of [long list of more pragmatic crafts, such as knitting] [cue self hate for not being omnicompetent enough]

technically I am awake, sober, and going to work another full and potentially rough day, however this is distinctly different from "awake, sober, and ready to work."

oh yeah the Lady Gaga cover of Dragula

this is of course the 12" club extended mix

oontz oontz oontz