Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

being a bad night on sleep

I think I need to start planning on more little treats for myself and maybe more time off so that I feel like I'm working *towards* something.

trying to remember the definition of the future is that it's unknowable, there are any number of things that can happen and, if I survive, it's entirely possible that bright days AND utter misery are ahead. That said, my C/PTSD broken brain isn't great at seeing there's a long term of any sort, just immediate reasons for jumpiness and of course, a past with the worst bits lost in grinding memory.

Someday, the worst of this will be lost to memory.

#drawings earlier today, posting now in case things go nuts tomorrow.

Suddenly realizing ethnic anger (you're either invisible or a villain) doesn't just stack with personal experience in school (it's great to bully you, but the moment you try anything, you're this horrific monster) but it plays out exactly in how angry I am about media treatments of protesters.

let's see if listening to Heilung while stoned gets me anywhere

* Spongebob voice SECONDS LATER

* naked, except for frantically scrawling KENAZ JERO BIRKANA MANAZ RAIDO on one forearm and THURISAZ FEHU SOWELU ISA NAUTHIZ URUZ down the other in Sharpie

why am I thinking for this adventuring party

I'm an orc! My magical ability is GET LAIRGE TAE HIT THINGS WI A HALBERD! I ha far cleverer people tae think for me, clerics and all!

WORSE THE FAKE SCOTTISH ACCENT IS CATCHING!

listening to Garmarna's version of "Varulven"

* will NOT pester the GM for An Oracular Severed Willem Defoe Head Like In The Northman

* will NOT pester the GM to let my character set up a scorn-pole

* will NOT pester the GM to let me quote Havamal 38 in character

#drawings from Saturday.

I was really hoping to have more life, and more *of* my life, about stuff *I* was interested in rather than existing for the convenience of very well off important people.

how do you overcome the feeling that you chose the wrong major in college, and have been punished for doing so for the rest of your natural life? Asking for a friend.

so in The Muppet Alien, is Ellen Ripley the only character portrayed by an actor, or is the alien?

Hey, someone I know started a Telegram group for furries with fibromyalgia, and even though I don't need it, maybe someone out there does?

https://t.me/fibrofurs

#drawings from last night which I tweaked a little bit, and from tonight.

cranking Garmarna's version of "Vanner och Frander," pounding my cup in time against the table and bellowing "KLADKAKKA! GE MIG MER KLADKAKKA!" as coffee sloshes everywhere

#OchMerKaffeTack

It's wild how Astartes might fall to Chaos after the Heresy. I mean, they really haven't known any other life and in what little spare time they have they Astartes to unwind. I'm now imagining some clean cut recently-Imperial-Fist or something standing bolt upright in his new brass and pink armor yelling I'M HERE FOR SEX DRUGS AND ROCK AND ROLL a moment before he turns to the weird warped thing to his left and politely asking "how DOES one sex, drugs and rock and roll anyway?"

oh NO following a lead from weirdly the dance station I've been listening to Gruntruck and Alice in Chains' "Them Bones" and now I have the urge to drive to the Federal Way Fred Meyer in the rain to get American Spirits and new furniture at midnight or something

UPDATE: and now it's time to play Nirvana's BEST album

the Visual Migraine Sufferer Pride Flag

#drawing last night

nothing wrong with me that [laundry list of greater personal time, interpersonal connections, physical comforts, travel, therapy, all set against the background of much less upsetting current events] wouldn't fix.

damnit my kinky fantasies have become comfort fantasies have become for-a-change-not-stressed-to-the-gills fantasies.