Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

Something I hadn't considered is that since life doesn't actually work in tidy binaries it's entirely possible to feel I'm moving forward in a couple of respects, and scrabbling not to fall further backwards into depression and stagnation in a lot of others.

Today’s #drawings were more characters rather than staged scenes or anything, again #MarchOfTheDead

oh YEAH my favorite Pink Floyd track, defined almost entirely by how much it reminds me of Lord of the Rings

HOT TAKE: bialys are to bagels as apple/cherry/banana fritters are to doughnuts

NOT AS LEAN
NOT AS MEAN
STILL A YEEN

no wait

Today’s #drawings

when suddenly

SHIT IT'S LOW BODY IMAGE/DYSPHORIA!

the Three Stooges
the Four Tops
the Five Guys
the Six Million Dollar Man
the Seven Samurai

but they were all of them deceived

for there, in the land of the Dairy Queen where we treat you right, the Burger King forged in secret

"see the appeal of old beat up railroad shit," she said while stoned out of her tiny latrans skull, "is the aesthetics of wabi-sabi layered on this cool thing, a piece of technology we don't really use now but which still worked okay. The way that means these things WERE beautiful, and now ARE in a different way, connects with my search to feel valid as middle-age slips away from me."

then she giggled like a schoolgirl and that kinda ruined the melancholy

Today’s #drawings, architecture again

sadly the video doubler chokes on shorts so you'll have to organically just turn off the sound on https://youtube.com/shorts/t78VAfFVRLk

and play

https://youtu.be/5k68Uz3w3x8

Now that I’m thinking about it more, what happens to me (and everyone!) is a mix of things I probably can control because they are close to me (and even then that’s not a sure thing), things which might be out out of my control despite my effort (can I win over a teacher or classmate, job hunting), and things completely out of my control (US government and GenAI destroying this world).

Even though that’s obvious in hindsight, it previously literally hadn’t occurred to me.

I’m also remembering a life-changing accident occurred when kids are processing their personal power and consequences of their actions according to Erickson; and, “success” in childhood meant more/more difficult tasks/social ostracism for being too smart, so it always felt like punishment.

I’ve been realizing that if I don’t do self-care (working on my issues, job hunt, sleep schedule, drawing, etc.) things get worse, but if I DO push on them, things don’t necessarily get better.

Fits into how I grew up being taught everything that happened to me was somehow my responsibility, but it felt like I was being engineered to fail, no matter what, because MOST of my life is/was out of my control, but just enough was controllable to give the impression that was ALWAYS true.

@arakin hey I found out about a new WtA game on Steam, and I likely won't go for it but it might be your sort of thing

https://store.steampowered.com/app/2402280/Werewolf_The_Apocalypse__The_Book_of_Hungry_Names/?curator_clanid=7026798

"many types of neurodiversity are heavily stigmatized" yes, concentration camp survivors tend to stigmatize SS men, why?

"You have my sword."
"And my bow." *presents bow*
"And my bo." *presents staff*
"And my beau." *presents fiance*
"And my B.O." *lifts arm*

"You have my sword."
"And my halberd, my axe, and this light crossbow I'm not really good with but which came with my adventurer's pack."

"You have my sword."
"And my axe."
"And my rapier, parrying dagger, the obvious throwing daggers on my belt, plus both boot knives and the spring loaded sleeve knife."

Tonight’s coyote kitchen frenzy was probably amateur by a friend’s standards, but I feel pretty good about it.