Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

surf cover of The Cure's "A Forest"

https://youtu.be/0i6NGIDZ83U

Still sick of being me though drawing and friends and not being trapped there helps a lot.

20 minutes. God I’m such shit. I’m sorry. I really am trying to front well to my coworkers and I guess you get to see where I actually can’t

Less than an hour

Ate some of the stuff I got during lunch break. Still feel I am the blundering villain. A little more than 1.5 hours to go home. Waiting. Treading water and waiting,

I hope I get to see Alice or Jack later. It’d be really emotionally useful to see or pet them later (they aren’t my cats so being around them is just chance).

I wish I were good.

Maybe I should just say something egregious and alienate everyone.

Okay; I got relatively portable food figuring I might be hungry rather than nauseous later. Let’s meditate some and see if that helps.

Walking a little to get lunch stuff despite that I don’t deserve lunch and there’s no way to make myself not fuck up and I wish I could puke until there was nothing left inside me, just empty skin, and I wish this could all be over so I’d never fuck up anything again, but if I tried killing myself I’d probably fuck up and even were I successful THAT would be a fuck up too, so I’m trapped with my innate total incompetence.

These are the thoughts I’m currently trying to ride out.

I made mistakes in three different sales orders. I was able to confirm those. My plan is to start auditing sales orders nearer to COB so I have some time after entry to look at them anew.

And, now I need to focus on not sinking into thinking I’m innately incompetent and therefore always fuck up and will be justifiably rejected or punished as a result. Thinking I’m a complete fuckup will not be of much practical help and the main appeal is it’s familiar.

So; I threw down some ideas for a Dark Sun game (imho “D&D Mad Max with obsidian weapons and bug armor” is a neat idea). Noticing;

1) especially because the last really good Dark Sun info was 4e, this might be hard to sell players

2) especially given the importance of thematically cool combats in 4e, areas with cool gimmicks and usable features are the combat encounter equivalent to having cool NPC personalities in social encounters.

TRIAL BY STONE!

SKREEEEEE!

#TMItuesday

I tried as a kid very hard to like Dragonlance because TSR pushed it so hard; there were a few elements I liked (draconians and the wizard trials, wizard abilities related to moon phase), but I didn’t like a lot of characters & writing style. (In particular I couldn’t stand entire species existing as comic relief, and it came across kinda smart-kid-bashing.)

This “what’s wrong with me that I don’t like this narrative everyone LOVES” repeats elsewhere in my life, a lot.

Maybe crowded bus with poor brake pads in rain wasn’t the best place to try sketching fabric folds from a book. Oorgh

must... go... fake being whatever iteration of human that is... at work... nngh.

Uh #TMITuesday questions anyone?

it occurred to me (and I'm not Dene) that the names "First Scolder" and "First Angry" for the deity, Coyote, both reference alarm barks.

Let's try doing bed early this evening!

Also, I have questions about this part of Interstella 5555; https://youtu.be/FxzBvqY5PP0

1) why exactly is he waxing the space guitar, does this lessen space friction or is it just to keep it lookin' good?

2) if you wax down your space guitar don't you need to score the wax to keep a grip on it during FTL travel

3) ugh dude can't you pick the kleenex up off the floor afterwards

tfw when you automatically scratch your neck when listening to the theme music to "Yojimbo," practically the greatest movie ever made.