Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

TAKO. Instead of “an octopus,” D&D yields “a cyclopean land-going octopus which can wield weapons in all eight arms.”

FLUMPF. A good aligned flying jellyfish which is helpless when flipped over and which sprays opponents with gastric acid.

DRACOLISK. Idk how a dragon and a basilisk safely interact enough to have kids, outside Tapestries, but when they do, it makes dracolisks. It’s like the parents hooked up entirely in hopes the kids would kill PCs someday.

FLAIL SNAIL. It’s a snail with mace heads where snails carry their sensory apparatus and they hit adventurers with ‘em, kerPOW!

HOAR FOX. There is actually nothing particularly terrible about this gorgeous animal which freezes your PC with its minty fresh breath. Except the name. If you play D&D with furries and face a hoar fox, expect the game to stall for 20-30 minutes of jokes about vulpine stereotypes. Sheesh.

DUERGAR. The gray dwarves are grim enemies of dwarf-kind - and everyone else, because their bleak lives hold naught beyond warfare, torture, fungus beer, spider rides and brutalist architecture.

Awesome. But 4e made them REALLY DOOFY.

D&D has these nasty bearded devils- they scratch victims with Brillo pad like beards. A Duergar/bearded devil is a terrible foe. In 4e Duergar all have this fiendish heritage so they SHOOT THEIR BEARD HAIR AT YOU.

MAEDAR. Ever wonder what a *guy* Medusa is like? D&D has your answer; golden-skinned Yul Brynner. When a medusa turns your PC to stone her maedar boyfriend (nice gender essentialism y’got there) PUNCHES the statue back into big blocks of meat.

VARGOUILLE. This is a really nasty flying head. If it bites your PC, their head will become a flying monster and flap away on its ears.

KRENSHAR. Sort of a lion-hyena pack hunter which scares the bejeebers out of you by rolling fur and skin back to bare their skull at you while screaming. Evolutionarily this makes no sense but you have to admit it looks fuckin’ ace!

BONECLAW. Undead with huge claws, except now they can extend their arms out over half the room and hit you. Sheer D&D awesometude right there!

DIRE CORBIES. The origins of why subterranean flightless anthro crows would have unicorn horns and yell DOOM are lost to history. They’re the dire corbies, they’re here to yell DOOM or yell DOOM and they’re fresh out of yelling DOOM.

LAVA CHILDREN. An elemental hybrid built like a brick of muscle is a solid concept. They get mentioned purely because Russ Nicholson, whose art is usually gritty and dark, decided the entire species looked like Alfred E Neuman.

Some of the staggering doofy stuff, an essay;

UMBER HULKS. Towering subterranean bug-people with powerful mandibles is a pretty cool monster concept right? But they also can confuse you if you look into their ocelli. Like... why would they stop and confuse people? It’s like vanilla icing on a taco.

Can this workday please end so I can draw, study drawings or have lurid latex animal suit fantasies? Or heck latex or animal suit. I’m not picky and mostly I need a nap.

1) Of course given my friends I need to consider “what if someone wants to play a goblin or kobold” as part of running. I swear I’m more likely to hit that than someone playing aasimar or whatevs.

2) if I did make a mega dungeon it needs dire corbies, they’re possibly one of the most spectacularly doofy D&D monsters ever.

Not my art, also I feel real leery of the artist but; seal!

Lots of selkies in this #FolkloreThursday so I figured I’d share the one I drew this past Inktober! She has my legs 🤫 https://twitter.com/ThornwolfArt/status/981900360729034752/photo/1

Not only do my ideas tie together about four different game ideas I really want to run, but having this localized, old-skool framework avoids a lot of the “ultimate battle to save the entire multiverse!” plot element which I want to avoid. Characters exploring and fighting some big local evils won’t save the entire world, and I like that idea.

Yesterday I was thinking about wanting a low fantasy Norse themed game, but also wanting a high fantasy, classic D&D goofy game. What would I do as story in either?

Lately I’ve been really enjoying Web DM on YouTube (it’s easier to sneak YouTube at work than drawing or print media); they get me thinking more. Their video about “mega dungeons” got me thinking about a huge dungeon crawl as a way to do big, goofy D&D, enough that I scribbled several pages of background/story.

Dear David Bowie,

Is there any moonlight which isn’t serious? I figure if anyone knows where to get fucked up on really *goofy* moonlight, you’d know.

Heading to work, which... eh. Would rather chill out, draw, have coffee somewhere, nap, on a day like this.

nearly everything is more compelling than my day job right now.

Angry quasi-political rant deleted. Short form; I feel/objectively have been lied to.

Up from the depths
Thirty stories high
Breathing fire
Her head in the sky
Clitoris! Clitoris! Clitoris!

And ClitZOOOOOOKY

guess who managed to make their arms tired by air-drumming at the correct pace along with the Awesome Bits of Metallica's "One"?