Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

ah yes, that moment when you're up late and you're all "hmm, I'm hungry, but also winding down, so if I eat something, even something fairly bland and starchy, will my stomach then decide to try dissolving holes through my esophagus to kill me?"

it weirds me out that "thot" is an acronym and not a gloss/contraction of "thought." Kinda breaks whatever grammatical rules deffo, smol, etc. have.

So I think I'm just going to roll with it; I'll stay awake for a while, organically let myself calm and go back to bed.

http://70sscifiart.tumblr.com/post/176725534110/rodney-matthews

* listens to Yes albums and looks at Rodney Matthews art
* gets out the Fiend Folio and pre-issue 100 White Dwarfs
* plots out AD&D campaign about riding a giant metal grasshopper through the multiverse
* collapses on floor in an ugly mess

SO MANY THINGS TO THROW ON THE GROUND
LIKE THIS
AND THIS
AND THAT
AND EVEN THIS!
I'M AN ADUUUUUUULT!

aaand my brain is spewing hypervigilance, self condemnation, and do I detect a light bouquet of gender dysphoria and shite body image? really, I'm trying to watch drawing instruction videos, and have some coffee and unwind. If the hypervigilence doesn't ease up in 15-20 I'll move elsewhere.

#drawing today is more architecture!

It's a real pity that "hyperarousal" actually means no fun whatsoever, and doesn't at all involve Lewd Furry Weirdness.

unrelated

1) Twitter remains bloody terrible while Oglaf remains freakin' awesome.

2) I miss FC being at the Doubletree; I miss having a big con, rather than a gigantic one. I definitely want to do PAW for at least one day; it's basically what happens when you strip a furry con down to dances, and that's pretty awesome in its own way.

Okay interview completed. I can stand down.

okay off to do Adult Stuff On Like, No Sleep.

And anxiety's spiking again. Despite the little dip of crap self-esteem last night, where I asked for reassurance, the past largely sleepless 12 hours has been pretty okay; I feel likable, loved, and capable, just my subconscious apparently is screaming BE FRIGHTENED AS HELL at me. Anyone ever get something similar?

This SUCKS. I think I need to try the edibles, as Friday night was terrible on sleep too, but Saturday I had a few puffs from a friend's vape and slept okay that night.

wow, anxiety's been nuts tonight. as witnessed by me being back here after 2+ hours

well that was a very restful 90+ minutes of sleep before acid reflux and an anxiety spike woke me up.

(old, joke) guide to spotted hyena anatomy which I found and wanted to share again

this is my blessing. this is my curse.

* hand gestures *
* crouches *
* Danny Elfman espionage-bongos *

I feel bad about the same stuff that’s been haunting me for a week.

oh wow @anthracite

remember how back at the beginning of July I went to the Pike Place with @green and they were kinda weirded out by Incredibly Buff Anpu? And I was too whatever to get a photo?

https://twitter.com/dymphna_saith/status/1025760847048716289

WHY DOES ANPU HAVE A SKULL ANKH?
WHY DOES ANPU HAVE AN ASET BELT BUCKLE?
WHY DOES ANPU WEAR A MOGEN DAVID?

The diet my parents chose for me was a mix of being poor, what THEY liked, and doing the right thing by Being Healthy. Childhood featured a lot of tuna salad, apple juice, dried fruit and carob chips, all of which I actually like still, somehow.

Somehow the big thing I came out not liking were bananas. They're sticky, squish easily and they were a favorite HEALTHY TREAT.

They are also high in dopamine and potassium which means as an adult, I probably should be eatin' 'em.

@green https://twitter.com/nataliehall/status/1026165459953967104 #skree