Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

one of the nerdiest things I remember verbatim despite how obscure it is;

"lady I was gonna cut you some slack, 'cause you're a major mythological figure, but now you've just gone nuts!" #Boom

look going from Tom Waits' "What's He Building?" to the soundtrack to the 2004 "Hellboy" is a pretty logical segue

Old art, color because people like that

He stumbles out, wearing a drover’s coat over homemade plate armor and bucket helm, only using his revolver because he’s been hit in one elbow. Eventually he goes down from blood loss. By the time the law hangs him high, he’s literally sick, poisoned by all the metal carried into his bloodstream.

It’s such a dramatic story I want to co-opt it into *something* though I don’t know what.

Actual medieval armor is made to be mobile, but these guys cobbled together thick stuff out of literal plows which was way too heavy to move much… and nigh impregnable. The police dumped ammunition on the Kelly Gang and eventually they started hitting gaps in the armor. With his fellow bush rangers bleeding out, Ned decides he’s going to blast his way free of the cabin, revolver in one hand and a repeating rifle in the other.

Okay weird history first.

Ned Kelly and his gang (partly relatives) were Irish “Bush Rangers” operating in Australia/New Zealand in the late 1800s. Finally the Australian lawmen caught up with the gang, surrounded their cabin, and a gunfight ensued. Typical Western stuff if through an Aussie filter, right?

Except, probably thanks to Tennyson’s medieval romanticism in popular media of the time, the gang had decided to make themselves plate armor.

Should I tell y’all about a weird historical thing, tell y’all something personal history, or repost some real old art as a way of distracting myself from how I’m upset right now?

Which would you like most?

So is it poor taste or just business as usual to announce in front of your office assistant that your brand new warehouse guy will make the same salary as your office assistant (who’s been here for nearly a year, tackled a batch of challenges, basically had to show up daily, and had to ask for a raise to that amount back in January)?

SCOTUS doing SCOTUS stuff again.

Really wanting a chicken sandwich from the chicken place but tbh they don’t give you hot sauce for it, so the reality wouldn’t be quite as good as the fantasy.

Mmm. Chicken sandwich.

Apparently we’re at listening to “songs which make coyote want to go up into the mountains, into the woods so she can die and be with the ancestors.”

I am angry this morning, and about stuff where I don't think I'll ever not be angry.

I got two more hours of wonderful sleep and now I need to haul in to a job I normally don't want to go to, only now on 4+ hours or so. So I don't feel great and, if need be, I'll take off early.

it's just being a profoundly bad night on sleep.

current 0300 insomnia brilliant idea, any Astartes force I might build are gonna be Francophones. I mean yeah, the Legion of the Damned, Blood Angels, Space Wolves etc are badass but do they sound half as badass as the Legion des Damnes, Anges de Sang, and Loups d'Espace?

suddenly it hit me; temporarily deputize anyone seeking an abortion for any reason! That way, since they're technically now police, Democrats will be sure to rush them funds and support!

my upstairs neighbors are having one of their occasional FUCK YEAH EARLY WEEKDAY MOOOOORNING! parties. Thankfully no soundsystem to call in a complaint over. Yet more completely self absorbed assholes who want THEIR awesome thing and I have the bad luck to be around for it.

#drawing today was a tiefling wizard or warlock, with her pet pseudodragon and some unfortunate armored knights or soldiers who she defeated.

I figure I should share a version of my story in case it helps give someone any perspective on their experiences.

Not everyone gets PTSD in a war or a concentration camp. When I was 4-5 (memory loss means I can't tell you when exactly), I was in a bad accident. I was lucky enough to have my head above water; I treaded water for anywhere between five minutes and several hours, and spent the next year or so re-learning how to use the hand I nearly lost. The negligence that caused the accident meant I went to college at least in part, possibly fully, on a legal settlement from the accident.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the end of my experiences being (or feeling) stuck, trapped, and treading water, and as a result I have CPTSD, which comes from much more extended stuff but which has similar symptoms.

I went to public schools which put lots of emphasis on rote memorization, team sports which were never adequately explained, punishment, favoritism. Not fitting in, and swapping schools so I needed to rebuild a social network from scratch a couple of times, got me bullied in all kinds of ways. My folks were really emotionally invested in raising a little math and science genius (I'm nowhere near close), so there were some really lousy experiences there, too. Finally in high school, they forbid me to get a job lest that negatively impact my grades, would not let me learn to drive lest that increase their insurance rates, and I effectively spent high school under house arrest. No pets, no siblings, no internet. I was high functioning enough that nobody noticed the straight A student spent days and weeks depressed and didn't really have a personality anymore.

All of this stuff affected my life after I got out. So I never get full on flashbacks where I'm sure I'm back there, then, but I do wind up having dissociative fugues, I have memory loss, and I do get flashes of memory sometimes - some of which have been missing for years. I dissociate if I'm in really bad situations. But those are big dramatic things and pretty rare - what happens way more often is hypervigilance, crappy self worth, occasional s**cidal ideation, or irritability.

Please do feel free to ask me questions if there's any information I can offer from my experiences which might help you.

Do you ever feel like you’re perched pretty exactly between being a weepy, burned out mess and being pretty happy actually, and you’re essentially one bad or good experience from tipping either direction for a while?