Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

Oh boy proximity alert for covid, time to jam stuff in my nose and hope again. Instead of shaving my damn legs.

In 3 hours I get out of here and today can fade into being another bad day among thousands of bad days in my life. I can draw dumb pictures and drink a fancy coffee and hopefully my mind will stop screaming about how I’m too dumb and worthless to become a programmer, welder or anything good, how I’m too fucking stupid for anything. Maybe my mind will shut up about how I’ll never transition and I’m too stupid and hideous, and I can shave my legs, that’d be nice.

I think I should start looking for something else.

Wanna deep fry eggplant with the energy currently going to thinking I’m stupid

The “everything you touch turns to shit” feelings are especially bad today. Normally I’m able to get past the “nobody gives a flying clusterfuck about how you crapped up perfectly good paper, we love the REAL, the GOOD artists” feelings, and the “this woman is never going to acknowledge I got anything right and her being up in my business is just an impersonal difficulty” acceptance of earlier this week ain’t there right now.

Oh fuck I did not need to listen to “I Will Follow You Into the Dark,” the “other better people are gone and yet I’m still here and doing what exactly?” feelings are bad enough, thank you.

very emotionally labile evening. Really dislike feeling that my life's basically over, I missed every possible opportunity I really had to do more than wait for organ failure

#drawings today, a knight and giant charge each other, inspired by some Kate Bush lyrics, and a heavily armored orc or hobgoblin ambushes an apparently very hard of hearing barbarian.

oh YEAH

it's time for the beef song!

BEEF. IT'S WHAT'S FOR BEEF.

The Magnificent Seven https://youtu.be/T1OVpzRXFBc via @YouTube

apparently, I'm spoiling for a match enough to settle into correct stance with my left arm tucked behind my back, advance, parry, and cut to the music from when Lancelot takes out a largely unarmed wedding party in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail."

“Adobe is acquiring Figma.”
“What’s Figma, is it a shareable UX which allows users to…”
“FIGMA BALLS!”

Please be Patient, Driver is Relatively Experienced But it’s 2022 and They’re Going Through a Lot.

Scheduled a dentist appointment 0800 next Monday and gave my boss the heads up I might run late. Monday after that is Rosh Hashanah, and I figure I can get up early, pray, then head in; but Yom Kippur is a Wednesday so I really want to take the day off and worry I likely can’t (need money and season picking up). This might be easier if I enjoyed Yom Kippur (I think it’s useful but utility isn’t the same as enjoyable).

*sigh*
Someone I know on birdsite posts a photo of themselves naked in a bath and I uh, am now thinking about how nice it would be to take a bath, and to shave my legs.

Peter Jackson’s Farmer Giles of Ham. Although NZ’s government was okay with him making only one film it’s still 200 minutes long (180 minutes in the theatrical release), now with more comic relief and people falling from heights.

Something screwed with my laptop enough that I needed to run C Cleaner to get it to actually work. Then, the only crown I have came off a molar.

Other than that this evening I found out that deglazing a pan with soy sauce and ketchup gets passable barbecue sauce.

Too pale, too sick, too scrawny
But I’ll sleep here anyway
And the sheets smell like bodies -
Not mine, not yours, not yours -
Now it’s 2 AM and it’s quiet again,
WHERE’S MY LIP GLOSS?

White Center, which is on your wight as you drive south on I5, opposite of Weft Center. #oWo

Tonight I’m gonna party like it’s 1999! *spends hours browsing alt fan werewolves and the lycanthropy web ring*

Years ago I worked for [food services] and I had this coworker who was employee of the century. He was great with customers, upbeat and encouraging with the rest of us. So one day we’re on a smoke break and I ask, hey, this place feels terrible, how do you stay so positive? “Oh,” he said. “I smoke a huge bowl every morning before I come here. Do you think I could stand this place otherwise?” Really shattered some illusions there.