Woke up in the middle of the night with mixed feelings about stuff and decided to do a *little* cleaning at least in case friends wound up at my apartment. That loud THUMP you heard was my motivation to clean up hitting the floor.
When I moved in, I didn't have bookshelves at all and Ikea was out of the taller ones - so my books are consistently this disorganized sprawl. Things have been a little too stressy to do much about it.
I think this lady I happened into through a clip of the ABC warrior from the 90s "Judge Dredd" deserves a boatload of respect for apparently going "look, I'm not going to pass SO SCREW PASSING instead I'm going for drag queen over the top and cyberpunk AF." I mean, dystopia was supposed to be visually intense darnit.
And while I'm not great at being this mature model of whatever, at least I'm something like a 10 year old or teenager where despite all the anger, mood swings, obsession with rule of cool and wanting people to like me when they never will, at least my variety of puerile doesn't view race prejudice and widespread poverty as something good worth aspiring to.
See that's the thing about rightwingers. They aren't actually interested in freedom of religion, speech, right to bear arms, "centrism" or not being oversensitized. It's not about anything that makes a community, it's just "I want to do what I want to do and I want YOU to convenience me." It's no wonder that people who never really outgrew their terrible twos revere toddlers grown hugely powerful like Musk or Trump.
If I want to spend $50 on a book or $35 on Korean barbecue it’s a huge thing for me, and I can’t even toss $100 to someone else’s rent. Cons, owning a kayak, miniatures are all on hold indefinitely while I pay for car repair, car insurance, dentist stuff after insurance, and rent. And rent. And rent. So that’s a lot of despair to swallow.
Some folks I know are more desperate and some more comfortable. But our rulers could drop that money and it’s nothing to them.
Mh journaling
1) feel like I more emotionally understand that cortisol takes a while to physically clear out so I am/was pretty vulnerable to a lot of negative messages
2) along those lines “quit feeling sorry for yourself!” uh being upset or tearing up because someone’s in your face demanding stuff and yelling and especially if that’s an adult you’re supposed to love and trust wholeheartedly is A NORMAL CHILD REACTION.
Lots of random gunk, but some drawings and cooking talk too. Obsesses about DnD and related topics. Left-leaning/profoundly frustrated politics. Black lives matter; trans rights are human rights.
Occasionally NSFW art and discussion, please do follow if you're 18+.