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hot take "Wherever I May Roam" would be the best song on the black album if it *didn't* have a werewolf song.

And because it’s traditional while listening to Metallica;

16 08 07 12 16 14

Okay the thing I was worried I’d fucked up, last week? I fucked up, last week BUT not entirely, the mistakes were a relatively quick fix and we’re good now.

tonight's edition of "I could fall asleep with the battle of Kursk next door/2-3 hours later I'm very awake"

Just wanted to post photos from today’s walk earlier, it was such a good day outside and I wanted to both share and remember.

I don’t need a used book on Maximinus Thrax. I don’t even LIKE Romans! Instead let’s buy this equivalently priced Pathfinder module which I probably will never run in any form but which has werewolves.

Guess that point about self hate merits clarification; all the above (lack of resources, trapped with seemingly unending tasks instead, crap self worth etc) can all FEEL like monolithic objective reality (low intensity, nigh constant frequency), but literally being TOLD that (relatively infrequent, high intensity) really cemented it, inside my mind.

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This big nearly impossible to challenge circle of CPTSD/ADHD issues. LITERALLY impossible to challenge with no real down time and actual negatives or just hypervigilence. And, so incidental/artifactual (the big constant is everyone, me included, wanting what most conveniences US) the simplest (therefore ONLY when constantly strapped for emotional resources) pattern matching is self loathing I was literally taught (and also directed anger inwards, distracted, etc).

What a fucking mess!

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This morning I’m re-re-realizing how interconnected childhood was. I never get enough time or money for MY stuff <=> endless uncompelling tasks, stuck in someone else’s places/schedules are more important <=> I fuck up and it’s this horrible thing to be punished <=> needing to focus intensely on tasks or punishment keeps me from thinking of a long term <=> officially good people get time and money/support to do their stuff <=> endless tasks with infrequent/arbitrary/short term if any reward <=>

coyote sing along hour 

I was there with my feet nailed down
and my head moving the speed of sound
in a dream I was caught in a maze
and I couldn't find my way back home
some were born to move mountains around and some to rot away in jail
I got an itch, and when I am scratchin'
everything can go to hell
and how far is halfway there?
I didn't see you on the trail
I've almost become good enough
should the good life be so hard won?
is this what our dreams have become?

sometimes when you shoot an arrow it can fly across the sky so proud
I would go all the way to the sun if I didn't have to come back down
[chorus]

you got a car and somewhere to sleep?
someone to love you, something to eat?
I would say you're doin' better than most
but maybe not as good as some
[chorus]

so when orcas make noises while surfaced, it seems reasonable these are the same noises as below the surface, and I know that changes how they sound. I bet even without the sonar aspect of orca vocalizations, just how much frequency drops out and changes cues them to how far they are from each other.

drug mention 

"We forsee a slight problem"
"here it comes"
"Yes?"
"Paul Bothades. We want him killed."
"You mean, of course, Duke Leto Atreides?"
"No, we mean BOTHADES! I was never here!"
*immense bong rip and disappears in the space time continuum*

drugs adjacent 

the beginning is a very delicate time. know then that this is the year 10191. the known universe is ruled by the Padishah Emperor Shaddam IV, my father. in this time the most precious substance in the universe is the spice melange. the spice extends life. the spice expands consciousness. the spice is vital to space travel. the spacing guild and its navigators whom the spice has... mutated over 4000 years use the orange spice gas to fold space, that is, to travel without movement.

conan the barbarian paraphrase "humor" 

CWRAHM I HAVE NEVUH PRAYED TO YOU BEFOH

I HAVE NO STOMACH FOR IT

NO ONE NOT EVEN YOU WILL REMEMBER IF VE VERE GOOD MEN OR BAD

ALL DAT MATTUHS IS FINALLY GETTING TO DUH CHECKOUT AT DUH COSTCO. GRANT ME MY THREE POUNDS OF RAVIOLI FOR ONLY 15 GOLD PIECES, CWRAHM!

Subskeet related to prior subskeet;

I’m at the Steading of the Hill Giant Chief
I’m at the Glacial Rift of the Frost Giant Jarl
I’m at the combination Steading Glacial Rift

You’re in her DMs

I’m in her module for 4-6 characters of levels 10-12 along with other PCs who met in a bar somewhere. We cannot get out. Drums, drums in the deep.

Man FUCK Gavin Newsome. “Centrist” fucking anti union fucking sellout shit.

Oh fuck yeah tahini in the “I can use this in under a year” size! Maybe it’s time to make sabih, AGAIN (it’s a favorite sandwich).

Church sign in Edmonds; “the best way to get even is to forgive and forget.” I’m now imagining the counterpart in Ballard being “the best way to get even is to massacre your foe’s bondsmen in your mead hall and carve the blood eagle on him.”

After spilling coffee on myself today, I realized that anyone who licenses Jackson Pollack’s paintings for t shirts has it made.

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