Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

definitely a morning worth of noticing that, if there's something which supports beliefs that I'm innately flawed, different and isolated from my peers, and about to be rejected, my intrusive thoughts will grab it and REALLY run with it.

wow, my stomach really did NOT like using the remaining olive tapenade on those vegan ravioli.

oops, apparently in addition to the sing along upstairs neighbors and the screaming kids upstairs neighbors (suspect these are the same folks) my other upstairs neighbor's practicing aikido again or something.

my upstairs neighbors are having another sing along party this evening. Because really what I need to propel me out of being sad is being pissed the fuck off. At least THIS time I don't have work tomorrow, but I still hope they're done before 1200 let alone 0200.

there must be something else
there must be something good
far away
far away from here
far away
far away from here
far away
far away from here
far away
far away from here,
and I'll be here for good.

not me having a crying jag to Tom Waits

not me following that up by listening to Two Coffins by Against Me

all the things I have yet to lose will someday be gone too
back into annihilation
all things must change maybe it's better off that way
I wish that you'd never change.

Sure, since I'm drinking;

She's my only true love
She's all that I think of
look here, in my wallet, that's her
she grew up on a farm, there's
a place on my arm
where I've written her name next to mine
See, I just can't live without her
and I'm her only boy
She grew up outside McHenry
in Johnsburg, Illinois

here's where my mind is at rn;

I grab various stuff from my library to read on the toilet, so spotting an old Dragon magazine in my bathroom with the article "The Magic of Kyuss" set off singing "Lick Doo" while making dinner

@frost in all seriousness, thank you for reminding me to listen to the Green Tara Mantra.

https://youtu.be/gWCl_JWfmw4?si=8AmU8jAJBkXi0jp1

at 1:50 swivels in chair frantically making NYAO DAKKA DAKKA noises

"AI apps on your phone will be able to tell if you're depressed"

me in 3 years "well this thing's broken, it's sending me alerts daily"

my original plan was "these beans and rice are going to be pretty good, or I'll try to salvage them by dumping kochujang all over them," and they're pretty good, but I'm still pondering dumping kochujang all over them

what if I used today as an excuse to visit a bakery?

the combination of watching other people get a dream come true, with everything that comes out of job hunting (including holding off on weed in case there's a drug test), definitely doesn't feel great.

I don't need to spend money on congee, do I?

#drawings today

well my scanner (from 2015 or so?) finally bit the dust. I realize a GOOD artist draws directly using the wonderful tools in the graphics program, but what if I'm not a good artist and want to draw on the bus or something?

it's the way of the future because YOU KEEP TELLING US IT IS AND PUSHING IT ON US AND PUSHING IT AND PUSHING IT rather than because it's actually a helpful, sustainable technology, FUCK YOU

who pollinates the pollinators?

hey, autistic folks;

would any of you have an opinion about https://www.acesaba.com/ ? They're my afternoon phone screen, but I want to check whether they're actually helping the kids.

Right now stuff I've run into about ABA makes me VERY wary. I've worked for The Bad Guys before (I actively liked working on U2 stuff), and I need the money, but.

A big thing to come out of my childhood was "I am not safe or comfortable" closely intertwined with "I am bad and inferior." The reality is I'm in some ways amazing and others broken and failed, and no more or less worthy than anyone else, since we're *all similar*, and the discomfort and threat of this world is pretty random. But my buttons get pressed, at some times a lot harder than others, and there's still a not small chance this will take me out.