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RIP Jar of Baechu Kimchi Sitting In Jon's Fridge, 01/2024-05/2024. Gone but not forgotten.

* eats kimchi/kochujang dogs while playing Amazing Grace

Legal weed is a ploy by Big Burrito to sell more burritos! In tandem with Big Sofa and Big Physical Comedy Entertainment, etc!

The urge to make a crap ton of hotdogs with kimchi and kochujang, wrap ‘em in aluminum foil, take ‘em to the park and watch the sunset while gorging on them

Oxford Comma Magazine, the perfect gift for any comma fan in, or near, your life!

Wait I can’t suddenly feel like crap about my art right now when I feel pretty good about it, I haven’t even posted it and spotted all the egregious mistakes yet!

Someone posted a YT video about Larry Elmore's "Dragonslayers and Proud of It," and here's what I said as response; 

In my head canon - and the D&D game I wanted to run based on that - the dragon is the bane of a small town or farming community, a smart savvy opponent striking from the shadows, at smaller groups, masking its escapes with clouds of poisonous breath weapon.

Local rumors and the effects of its magical fear aura make the creature out to be the size of a cart horse or a barn. Only careful problem solving and tracking - I'd parsed the elf as ranger actually - finally lead the party to directly confronting the dragon, and even then it's not a sure victory.

Rather than being comedy, it'd be played straight - if a young dragon just starting out on its own can be that formidable, just imagine what the gigantic, ancient dragons can do!

* To the tune of Winnie the Pooh

Piter de Vries
Piter de Vries
It is by will alone he sets his thoughts in motion
Piter de Vries
Piter de Vries
Drinks a little juice of Sapphu

the sudden realization that not only does Dr Jeckyl and Mr Hyde lose all meaning if you know plural systems (oh, there's another similar but not identical dude in the same body? Yeah, we hiked together last week) but Batman loses meaning if you know furries (hugely tech savvy car nut/martial artist constantly dressing as an animal? Yeah, I've seen photos of his asshole).

really I'm noticing how much I assume things WILL become hostile at any moment rather than that they CAN become hostile

oh my fuck Shakara is in actual Yoruba! I've never HEARD Yoruba that I knew for sure before, that's awesome!

also apparently I'm buzzed and 5:13 or so sounds very Afrobeat actually so I'm gonna hit pause on Zappa and listen to Fela Kuti instead

youtu.be/mpNn1nht0_8?si=Q2vvK6

my brain is trying to form a connection between Toto's soundtrack for the David Lynch "Dune" and "Threw It on the Ground"

I fell to the ground, my butthole was on fire
pain by nerve induction
take your butthole out of the box, young human

dzzzzaaaao

the beginning is a very delicate time. know then that this is the year 10191. the known universe is ruled by the padishah emperor Shaddap IV, my father. In this time the most precious substance in the universe is the spice melange. The spice extends life. The spice expands consciousness. The spice is vital to space travel.

At the end of Ministry’s “Jesus Built My Hot Rod” is the titular phrase, but; Jesus was canonically a carpenter right? So it turns out the whole song is actually about downhill box car racing like a kid might have. Hoooey!

the feeling that I'm basically racing against time;

trying to come up with gentle acceptance towards myself and a world where things go wrong (stuff you might get from a much healthier childhood than mine) before age means worse health, worse isolation, and an even nastier world. Revamp my old miserable takes on the world quickly, before things get worse and I make myself completely unhappy.

Okay the proportions on the horses really bugged me so despite being not Charlie Russell I adjusted them instead of getting baked or drinking screwdrivers like a sane person.

oh no, I listened to some Gnome and now some Red Fang and I now really kinda want to be stoned out of my gourd, in Portland, or both

great. now I want PBR. I don't even usually drink PBR.

listening to the part of the Conan soundtrack where it's literally a perfect D&D movie, because our heroes stealth into Thulsa Doom's lair and then, rather than quietly sneak out again with the princess, set things on fire, stab guards and throw a big stone bowl of stew down the stairs.

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