Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

Really hit with; the easiest dopamine hits are either having something actually fun to think about, or something personal to feel good about, and that second is a lot less likely if I’m in a self hating headspace enough to dismiss any possible positive about myself… which was way more likely earlier in my life.

#drawings Tuesday and last night

don't unload on yer allies because they've been discovering what you grew up with every fucking day of your life

... she says, in front of African-Americans who've been dealing with a way worse version of it.

Also, and I’m now more cognizant of my ADHD than I have been previously in my life, all this is set up with a neurotypical expectation that you can (and must be) emotionally healthy while making yourself do hours of uninteresting drudge work daily, and with the understanding that its benefits are going to be limited; it’s never a one time and you’re done thing.

Oh, and I forgot; you need to be at least low-key involved in pushing back at government, even in the best of times, so your despair is rooted in them pushing through whatever the hell they want, rather than you don’t know if your silence allowed them to push through whatever the hell they wanted. This is especially bad right now.

It’s vital for your physical, therefore emotional, health to exercise, get exposure to direct sunlight, clean yourself regularly, eat regularly, sleep regularly, and avoid self isolation. You probably also need a hobby. You might need to work on your issues. You’re also trying to save money and you’re probably working on this around a job that eats a lot of your time and energy. It all feels like it’s a little bit too much honestly.

male-presenting kneecaps

End of assignment today as it’s been 90 days. Was always going to be difficult finding another job in Trump’s recession, it’s going to be even harder during Trump’s war and recession,

“refer to themselves in third person” team up between the Incredible Hulk and Hercule Poirot.

Tonight’s #drawing #MarchOfTheDead

now noticing my problem with viewing life as narrative for convenience is wanting to reject it as "life doesn't work that way" is because I've been told that YES life is a narrative and it's someone else's story, I'm either supposed to be the background or comic relief villain. To make storytelling work as metaphor I now have to accept that plot isn't especially coherent and the only protagonist I have to work with is *me*. That's a thing to think about innit?

"but we have no songs for great halls and evil times"
"and why should your songs be unfit for my halls? Come, sing me a song."

SODOMY
YOU MAY THINK IT VERY ODD OF ME
THAT I ENJOY THE ACT OF SODOMY
BUT IF YOU TRY IT THEN YOU MIGHT AGREE
THAT YOU ENJOY THE ACT OF SODOMY

DON'T WORRY IF YOU FEEL ASHAMED IT'S BEEN AROUND FOR YEARS
HUNDREDS MORE THAN CAN BE NAMED ARE INTERESTED IN REARS
DON'T WORRY ABOUT HELL, NO HARM WILL COME TO YOUR SOUL
I'M NOT A PENTACOSTAL
BUT EVERYONE'S GOT AN ARSEHOLE

okay food helped. Being at my place helps. Cleaning up all the stuff my housemate left in the sink means I don't see it anymore.

I can't be the only person who thinks anthro hippo girls are potentially hot BUT ALSO irrevocably associate them with the climax/the Sodomy song from Meet the Feebles.

Today’s #drawings #MarchOfTheDead

Last night’s #drawing

The world is a vampire, but fans are conflicted about whether it’s Lasombra, Malkavian, or Ventrue antitribue, and trying to check p XX doesn’t help

this is today’s “that’s very funny auntie, let’s get you inside, we’ve tapioca pudding as a treat today” joke

this was a joke btw, I've only once made enough noise that anyone banged on the floor here, and it wasn't last night

damnit no matter how loud I play The Blue Danube Waltz it doesn't make my ballpoint pen float in midair

it just bounces up off the table 2-12 mm or so

oh yeah and also [terrence mckenna voice] there is a rhythmic pounding, as of drumming to your heartbeat, on your floor, and a voice shouting

a Coyote Space Agency routine low orbit maintenance launch

* puts on The Blue Danube Waltz, leans back in chair with arms and legs out and asks "open the pod bay doors HAL"

before the edible: they have passed like rain in the mountains, like wind in the meadow. the days have gone down in the west behind the hills into shadow

after the edible and most of a Slough Feg album: SHIELDS SHALL BE SPINTERED! SPEARS SHALL BE SHAKEN! HAMMER OF THE GODS WILL DRIVE OUR SHIPS TO NEW LANDS! A NEW MOON, A BLUE HAWAII, A WET WILLY TILL THE WORLD LIES RUINED!