Cabinet Derg @Motodrachen@awoo.space

Kerithe: So, uh, I've had to work really hard to get over my prejudices against Men and the traditional power structures they revel in. I've been backsliding badly.

I don't feel this is because I've been Divorced from reality however. If anything, it was a Lot easier to give men the benefit of the doubt before I had to try and communicate with them on the regular.

But now? There's an even chance that if someone's swinging dick that they're Racist, Queerphobic, Dangerous, and impossible to communicate basic concepts to. If they're over 50 or so, that jumps to a 75% chance that they're brainwashed Garbage.

And this shows up clear as day when they see a Femme, weird dude in a Skirt crawling under a truck to do a Tie Rod End. They jump straight from Contempt, on through confusion, and straight to insecurity and Anger.

They complain how persecuted and alienated they are, but refuse to understand Why.
They complain that they don't feel Welcome anymore, but will Not take time to consider that They might be wrong.

And this has been doing Corrosive damage to Tohri, because he's been trying Desperately to pass as 'Male' so they'll stop picking on him. For more than a Decade. And all so he can get through the days at his job and not have to deal with passive-aggressive insults or Dog Whistles.

Or worse, folks telling us "Oh, c'mon, it's a Joke!"

No, mr. trump supporter homophobe racist. That's about as funny of a joke as your fucking Life is.

Wicked anxious and depressed today with no reason for it. Trying my best to compartmentalize so it doesn't spill over.

My Family life is great, my holidays have been full of joy, and I've been keeping busy. I just feel like something's Wrong somewhere and that I could do something about it before it's too late.

If I knew what the hell to do. So it's a whole morning full of meditation, mindfulness, and talking to everyone inside my head to figure out who's uncomfortable and not saying anything to the rest.

Probably not helping that we summoned up an old spirit that used to hurt us, and welcomed him back to the Family. He's forgiven now but still feeling guilty about who he once was. He's staying with us over the holy time, and he'll go back to his Forest afterwards, but it's a little crowded in here right now.

Happy Solstice everyone.
This is where things stop getting darker and colder for us northern hemisphere folks.
This is the time of year to celebrate New Beginnings.

Focus your thoughts on the idea that every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end, and that you have the power to choose your path, even if you feel like you're lying to yourself.

Because in a world of really dark realities, the only way we can make light is to do it ourselves.

For years I really had an issue with The Religious Right.
In recent years, that major issue was Validated, as More of the folks who told me I was a conspiracy theorist have seen the Evils I was warning them about ten years ago come to Fruit.

But I don't resent them anymore. Their power, their relevance, their Control has been weakened to the point of self-parody.
They have no answers, no guidance, no Purpose anymore.
Just watch over the next ten years as they try and get GenZ in a church.

I need to buy some land and build a bunch of cabins, tinyhomes and treehouses so I can host my friends in a place where they can be as Naked, Queer, and Free as they feel like presenting.

Want to wear just a skirt all day while we're turning the compost?
Want to help in the kitchen, and wear a french maid outfit all day? Can do.
Feeling like a Boy and want to hang with the guys fixing cars? Guarantee that's going to be happening.

I fully intend on creating a Paradise that everyone can enjoy. And I already know all the ways it can be Poisoned. This time, the Apocalypse is Cancelled.

Even my damn eyes aren't one color or the other goddamn

I wanna look so femme that folks think I'm transmasculine when I put jeans and a teeshirt on.

You know how you all have that one problematic friend in the group?

In our group... She's kinda untouchable and she knows this. She's a disabled transgirl of mixed peurto rican and chinese lineage, she self identifies as a Neko Futanari Hime, and she's a pro-teir gamer.
She's a goddamn Anime character, and by all rights shouldn't exist. She's Clout Georg and is an outlier.

I really REALLY wish she wasn't so Racist, misanthropic, transphobic and just generally problematic about stuff, because she's like Walter in the Big Lebowsky.

She's not Wrong, she's just kinda an asshole.

But she's hyper loyal and giving with everyone in the group, and we're, uh... Real diversity. the kind you can't really Brag about.

It could just be that she's a Cat though.

You know, growing up... Multiple system folks were the wounded heroes and terrible villains in the King novels I more or less learned to read on.

And today I look around, and they're my brothers and sisters. They're Not Broken, they're Defeating evil, they're Growing more powerful, day by day.

But the old spells in those dark old books Work for us.
And they are Powerful.
Feels a bit Night Vale to learn powerful healing magic from something as Dark as Needful Things.
But it Worked.

I have trouble with a lot of new age philosophers and this whole Mindfulness thing.

Because I grew up on the stuff and everybody's acting like it's this big new enlightenment. I got force fed the stuff.

The Divine feminine featured strongly in my young life. My mom was a post-catholic exploring native lore and world religion.

That being said, the Temple was Holy, the Grounds were Sacred, I was a Retainer of the Goddess. I plowed the fields, held the faith, and tended the Earth.

There, in that place, I could be Male, and Proud. Because it meant you tended to the Goddess even as she Roasted or Froze you, Parched or Drenched you.

You were to suffer for Her, but you were granted her immortality too. You would be welcome in weather others would be driven from, home in the wild places, and one with the forest. Your strength was to be Praised, but only in service to Her. Your fortitude served the tribe, and was nothing without Softness.

I learned the secrets of the divine feminine. Learned how to Love, how to nurture, how to be Firm, how to be Caring. I learned the Masculine arts too, but they were things that didn't have currency in the outside world.

How to Work Hard. How to be strong but Kind. Silent durability. Running wheelbarrow after wheelbarrow of mulch up the hill, every day. The secrets of Stonework, of Dirt, of the Plowshare.

The lore of John Barleycorn.

I feel like the pinnacle point of masculinity is Max giving Furiosa the rifle once he knows she's gonna shoot it better than him, Then acting as Physical support so she can make the shot.