Seriously Spooky Souris 🏳️‍🌈🎃 @Mous@awoo.space

I've caught a cold from my partner and let me say, a stuffy nose when you're only allowed to sleep on your back is NOT GREAT

Going to be sappy for a sec-

I'm complaining a lot about the recovery process for top surgery and making silly jokes and such, but I am honestly so fucking glad I did this. I've been glad about it from the second I woke up in the hospital (though I admittedly was groggy enough that it mostly expressed as "oh hey. nice.") and that feeling has not abated in the slightest.

No post-op depression, no delayed emotional processing, nearly no pain. Just the difference with a shirt on is already enough to make the results more than worth it - the way my scars turn out is nearly meaningless in comparison. The surgery was already a success. I can walk with my back straight and my head held tall, and I am so happy.

These post-op bandages combine all of my least favorite parts of wearing a binder. Difficult to put on alone! Ribcage constructed! Escaping shoulderblade flab! Constant rolling/bunching up and pinching!!

It's like they assembled a "greatest hits" list to see me off.

🎶
I left my tiiiiiiiiiiits
in Saaaaaaaan-Fraaaaaan-ciscoooooooo
🎶

itchy bandages itchy bandages itchy bandages how can an area be numb but still itchy??????

"Wow, this has been really easy so far!" I say to myself like a fool, right before being woken up at 6 am by pain just as I've run out of the Good pain meds. :')

Anxious About Nipples™

I've lost count of how many times I've broken down crying over this.

This surgery was supposed to be a good thing.

they called me on Tuesday with different info about the date than they gave me last time, gave me a runaround of conflicting information on Wednesday, then fucked off for Thanksgiving and told me "we'll touch base with you on Monday". I don't fucking know if I'll get surgery next week. I don't know when my next chance will be if I don't. Today marks a full month since my original date.

like I've been trying so damn hard to function like a Human Being who Goes Outside and Spends Time With People despite being in a nightmare of surgical limbo but I'm at the end of my rope, forcing myself to act Healthy is taking more energy than I can sustain. I've only gotten this far by pointedly not looking directly at the problem and running on autopilot.