I'm feeling better, and perhaps healthier. I still have/had shame about my life, traumas, and being the way I am. It's getting better.
@Oneironott I love all of you. Including the golden cracks. Including every self you are.
I know what you have to work with, and I'm so glad you've made it here, this far.
I still say to myself often "I should be able to handle this/ I should be able to do better"
*sigh* But I Can't. that's not a bad thing nor a good thing obviously but like... I can't, and that's a limit.
I can't live life denying my traumas and trying to get to a place where I can forget about them or at least never tell anyone about them.
The folks I care about, I think, should have the context to be able to empathize and understand why I am this way. Why I have trouble with certain things.