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I just realized... 

I spent 18 years of my life in school. I've only been out of it for the last 2.

Honestly, I gotta cut myself a break and realize that there are still some things I have to adjust to about being on my own, and it won't be all that easy.

Pondering 

A part of me feels like I was put on this planet as a trickster who pokes holes in humanity's innate inability to look at a situation from more than one angle.

Try as they may to have it all figured out, they really don't. They make assumptions and try so hard to fill in the blanks. But in the end, they wind up shooting themselves in the foot and place blame on the person standing next to them.

depression, trauma, coping. 

@Oneironott That sounds a lot like what I've had to cope with over the last year. And how all of it was tied to past events that never really clicked until finding a new shift in perspective.

You've got this, Vlo. You're not alone here, and you definitely have my support.

@Oneironott I'm currently down and out with the flu. But I was hoping you, @KawaSeadrake and I could pile in for an adventure to the coast and temperate rainforests.

Good god... I'm so achey and sick that it feels like my body is falling apart... I can't wait to flop out and just sleep....

Bitterness/sick-in-bed-thoughts 

I still find myself writhing in the occasional bitter feelings about humanity. I try. I really fucking try to be patient with it. But some days I just want to scream at the top of my lungs, throw my hands in the air, and flee to the wilderness for good.

Einstein was right. Human stupidity is more infinite than the universe itself. Escaping its gravitational pull is a strain that's leaving me sick with the same bug I caught a couple weeks ago...

Job Update 

Eeeeh. Right now it's uncertain whether I'll be kept on the job. The other guy they interviewed apparently has more experience. If it doesn't work out in my favor, I'll probably go in for some career counseling.

@KawaSeadrake I'd have to agree! It retains heat incredibly well. Just what I needed for the perfect nest.

I bought a thick foam camping pad to put on top of my bed. Holy shit. It's so ridiculously warm and comfy that don't ever wanna get up. Somebody help! @..@

Barbecue Tonight 

Hey everyone! Just leaving a reminder that my art's collective is holding their biweekly barbecue at 4701 Shilshole Ave NW, Seattle, WA. The gate opens at 7pm on the eastern side of the shipyard behind the train cars.

Falling off the wagon 

@weird_hell@cybre.space Yeah. Normally I'm a coffee drinker, but the last week or so left me falling into my sugar and junk food cravings.

Falling off the wagon 

I need to cut back on energy drinks and have more coffee. I've been feeling more bloated, my pants are tighter, and excess sugar is probably the culprit. Bleh. X..x

Holy shit. I burned about 4000 calories at work today. At least.

Personal take on Alan Watts quote 

Zen does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is digging trenches. Zen spirituality is just to dig the trenches.

That's why I love landscaping.

A Year Ago 

A year ago, I stared pure evil in the face and lived to tell about it.

A year ago, I was drugged by someone I thought I could trust.

A year ago, I learned to be vigilant of psychopaths who infiltrate the left and pose a silent danger from within. Their inflated and authoritarian egos undermining our efforts. Preying on the innocent and well intentioned.

After what happened a year ago, I now dedicate my life to mercilessly ostracizing narcissists from our communities.

Roady boosted

Dying Slowly by Pablo Neruda 

You start dying slowly,
If you do not travel,
if you do not read,
If you do not listen to the sounds of life,
If you do not appreciate yourself.

You start dying slowly
When you kill your self-esteem;
When you do not let others help you.

You start dying slowly
If you become a slave of your habits,
Walking everyday on the same paths…
If you do not change your routine,
If you do not wear different colours
Or you do not speak to those you don’t know.

You start dying slowly
If you avoid to feel passion
And their turbulent emotions;
Those which make your eyes glisten
And your heart beat fast.

You start dying slowly
If you do not change your life when you are not satisfied with your job, or with your love,
If you do not risk what is safe for the uncertain,
If you do not go after a dream,
If you do not allow yourself,
At least once in your lifetime,
To run away from sensible advice.

So fucking happy right now! 

I just negotiated and secured a part time job with a local contractor! I go in tomorrow and I'll be working Monday-Thursday.

I'm a crystal figurine surrounded by plushes.

Weather Update 

While it's overcast and chilly, it seems like rain isn't much of an issue. Just a light, occasional drizzle.

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