Roady @Roady_Dragonfae@awoo.space

Fuck... I've fallen back into a pack every weekend. Time to buy some lobelia and nip this at the bud.

She is currently out of the vet and in my care. Her content little smile is coming back! It's just a matter of looking after her for the next day or two to make sure she gets plenty of rest.

Update! Nope. It's not a blockage. They gave her food and she snapped it right up. Could have been something she got into that messed with her stomach. I've made double sure sue doesn't get into anything in my van. But it wouldn't hurt to clean up just to be on the safe side.

The doctor called and said there's something that could be stuck in her stomach... Won't know for sure until we give her food and it comes back up. I'm hoping for the best...

Update. Koko's tests for parasites came back negative. It appears that she might have garbage gut. I still have yet to hear back on an x-ray.

Nope. Can't wait. She's shaking, she's burning up, and she's getting progressively worse. She's going to a hospital.

FFFFUCK! Koko jumped on my bed and squirted liquefied shit all over me! That's it. Tomorrow, she's going to the vet. God Dammit!

Today was the first time I ever carried a dog like a shepherd carries a lamb. Koko's been feeling pretty raw on both her paws and her honches so keeping her off the ground was crucial for getting around.

Koko's not feeling well today. A bad case of the runs...

I'm keeping a close eye on her to make sure she doesn't get any worse. If anything it's just too many training treats from yesterday and she'll feel better tomorrow.

If it does get any worse, I can still afford to take her to a vet. Thankfully.

This mainly stems from how those who have abused me were either plastic shamans or tried to come off as armchair therapists who exploited me by claiming to know me more than I know myself.

Given my naive nature/alcoholism at these times, I found myself in horrible situations where I was either brainwashed or drugged. Certain personalities still trigger episodes where I'm unable to distinguish whether or not someone is actually trying to help me...

Good god... I can't stop crying.

What arrests my attention is that I can't distinguish between someone who's offering honest advice and someone who is being manipulative or predatory.

The line is so blurred that I go into survival mode and lash out. Because said emotional abuse and gaslighting I've been subjected to was so subtle in intent that my first thought is the possibility that someone is trying to control me when they're really just concerned or offering help.

Every day is a struggle to have patience in a society where nobody else holds it to the same value.

Anyone wanna hang out on Capitol Hill? I'm making my way there and looking to spend most of my time at Bauhaus and Horizon Books.

Koko's still a little intimidated by the noise of the bus. That and she still has a habit of snapping up people food crumbs on the floor.

At this point, I'm just gonna focus more on eating lighter.

With the exception of fish, I'm going to limit my meat consumption to every couple of days and forego beef entirely due to it being an unsustainable food source.

As far as carbs go, I'm going to simply cut out refined sugar and confectioneries. Everything else stays.

Seems like a more reasonable dietary situation than most. If anything, I'm just tired of feeling sluggish all the time.

If I don't have room to express my nonbinary nature, it feels claustrophobic. The depressing and dissociative effects of being swept up in societal projections and expectations leave me drained and tired of dealing with Babylonian bullshit. It doesn't help that I'm already neurodivergent and dealing with internal struggles. That makes the external struggles all the more grueling.

At least there's no prejudice in the company of trees.

Honestly, I can't think of a better song to sum up my way of life than "Cosmic Castaway" by Electrasy. It's fucking beautiful.

That, and it ties directly into how Don Bluth movies were the biggest influence on my childhood. Even more so than Disney.

I'm making it official! I'd love to offer my stewardship in Postfurry house groundskeeping. Given I love working with plants and dedicating more time to this community helps me on a mental and spiritual level.

I charge $50 for lawn mowing, extra charges negotiable for extra yard work.

Thank you all for your consideration and I look forward to offering my help in keeping this awesome community going!

-Roady