updates, sad thoughts 

So the medication brother started is the actual chemotherapy meds.

It's a 30-day dose. After that, I guess they'll decide from there if he needs more or to move ahead with transplant.

I'm here until then.

I give up on BM. and the eclipse. They're clearly not happening.

friends and family've said 'focus on getting there next year', and i just can't.

i can't plan because as far as i can tell next year will be worse. either i won't have money or time or both. likely both.

I'm sorry i haven't been able to help.

i see your hurt. all of you.
i'm sorry i can't do much to staunch it.

i'm sorry i can't even help myself, right now.

i'm just sorry.

i should be quiet more.

@neonNeptunian Don't you dare. We're here for you and you're here for us. No matter how little you feel like you've been able to help, you _do_ help.

And I'm so sorry for all that you're having to endure. I wish I could do more for you.

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