Follow

So someone described me as "extremely femme" the other day, and I'm trying to work out a) why they would say that and b) why it doesn't sit right with me

The way I look at it, I've got 2 gender identities that sit on top of each other.

The main ID is a soft, gentle, "purple" androgynous non-binary. It's always there, very genderqueer, but gets read as feminine because I'm afab and haven't medically transitioned.

The second gender is a make one that shifts in expression from clean-shaven athletic to emo to flower crown prince, depending on the day.

The last ID could be considered "fem" (not "femme" tho since that's a lesbian ID), but still make, and layered on top of my non-binary gender absolutely not "femme".

So it's just so weird that someone I hardly know would call me "extremely femme".

@Sparrow Thats awkward. I'd be put off if anyone assigned some kind of femme/masc description to me without my consent.

@ratbaby it was super weird, and in response to a post where I was lamenting how since I've come out as non-binary people who used to be attracted to me aren't because I'm less feminine than they originally thought.

The person's response: "that sucks, but you're extremely femme! ✨"

Sign in to participate in the conversation
Awoo Space

Awoo.space is a Mastodon instance where members can rely on a team of moderators to help resolve conflict, and limits federation with other instances using a specific access list to minimize abuse.

While mature content is allowed here, we strongly believe in being able to choose to engage with content on your own terms, so please make sure to put mature and potentially sensitive content behind the CW feature with enough description that people know what it's about.

Before signing up, please read our community guidelines. While it's a very broad swath of topics it covers, please do your best! We believe that as long as you're putting forth genuine effort to limit harm you might cause – even if you haven't read the document – you'll be okay!