So someone described me as "extremely femme" the other day, and I'm trying to work out a) why they would say that and b) why it doesn't sit right with me

The way I look at it, I've got 2 gender identities that sit on top of each other.

The main ID is a soft, gentle, "purple" androgynous non-binary. It's always there, very genderqueer, but gets read as feminine because I'm afab and haven't medically transitioned.


The second gender is a make one that shifts in expression from clean-shaven athletic to emo to flower crown prince, depending on the day.

The last ID could be considered "fem" (not "femme" tho since that's a lesbian ID), but still make, and layered on top of my non-binary gender absolutely not "femme".

So it's just so weird that someone I hardly know would call me "extremely femme".

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