So someone described me as "extremely femme" the other day, and I'm trying to work out a) why they would say that and b) why it doesn't sit right with me

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The way I look at it, I've got 2 gender identities that sit on top of each other.

The main ID is a soft, gentle, "purple" androgynous non-binary. It's always there, very genderqueer, but gets read as feminine because I'm afab and haven't medically transitioned.

The second gender is a make one that shifts in expression from clean-shaven athletic to emo to flower crown prince, depending on the day.

The last ID could be considered "fem" (not "femme" tho since that's a lesbian ID), but still make, and layered on top of my non-binary gender absolutely not "femme".

So it's just so weird that someone I hardly know would call me "extremely femme".

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