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@mawr

Aww, thank you! :D I hope your day is good as well. ✨​

Good morning, pals!

I'm drowsy and kinda ready to go back to work. The week off was lovely though.

Thank you to everyone who answered my question about adult friendships. Your answers were helpful and encouraging, and I can tell I have a lot of work to do, but it feels a lot less daunting. <3

🤔 💭 

@mawr I'm not sure about "more true", but this does anecdotally seem to be true. I do find myself far more attracted to people with healthy self confidence than normatively pretty people. This might also be because their confidence helps put me at ease.

Birbsite, Depression 

@somekindofcrow

Playing videogames for 4 hours sounds nicer than being cold and sad, though. Sometimes compromises are a good choice.

I watched the first aide video about dealing with cold injuries, and as the EMS guy wrapped the freezing girl in a mylar blanket, decided that I too would like to become a human Chipotle burrito. So now I'm snuggled warm in bed.

@Efi ??

I went to a concert last night and I live with two musicians.

@mikeburns

Oh yeah, totally. Which is why I kinda figure if I do end up looking for friends that way, I'll do it when I'm also actively dating.

In the meantime, game nights and other activity groups seem like they'll be a little easier.

Birbsite, Depression 

@somekindofcrow

*hugs offered*

Please get dressed/turn on a heater, you deserve to be warm. Then maybe you can work on summoning up the energy to do one of the things you had planned?

@mikeburns

*Nods* That sounds like the sort of thing I'd like to start looking for in 6 months or so. At some point I want to try out a "solo poly" situation and that might be a good time to try a dating website, for friends and otherwise.

What is more mental energy than game night? Just talking about friend-finding strategies?

@Waldenpond@toot.cafe

Ahh, that makes sense. Good strategy! Thanks for the advice. :D

@ruth@witches.town

*nod*

That's how I felt with living in Davis for a while. There were definitely interesting people there (university in this case as well), but it was such a small town that it really felt like a "bubble".

@ruth@witches.town

That makes sense. I had some hesitancy about moving back to the bay area for that same reason, because I grew up here. But the good news with this region is that it's very big and attracts queer people from all over, so there's usually new people to meet. (It's also expensive af, but that's another discussion)

@Waldenpond@toot.cafe

I'm afraid of asking ppl out to coffee/drinks because I'm worried it might seem like I'm asking them on a date. I suppose I could be very clear about my intentions though. :P

Thank you! Those sound like some excellent suggestions. :)

@TQ@octodon.social

My ability to make friends on the internet has varied over the years. From age 11-15 I met loads of friends online, but for 16-24 most of my time has been spent offline. Lately I'm picking up those skills again.

Being based in the bay area helps. There tend to be a lot of queer geeks based in this area. I just need to meet them. :P

@mikeburns

Interesting! Yeah, I've met some friends thru dating websites too, but they're typically the people I get along with, but can't see dating. At this point I'm intentionally single and planning to be for a while. Are there really ppl on those dating websites just interested in friends?

I like that. I'm hoping to host casual game nights from my apartment soon, but it's a second floor so accessibility could be an issue. I like the diner idea and may incorporate that too.

@TQ@octodon.social

That makes sense.

Making friends through common interests or hobbies seems like a good choice, because then at the very least you're doing something enjoyable.

Friends of friends have panned out well in the past, but that still takes a lot of work in terms of planning or going to regular social meetings. Not impossible to do, just a lot of work to plan for.

@ruth@witches.town

That makes sense. I use discord to keep up with a few friends, and of course I've met a few fun ppl through Mastodon, but it's really hard to find new people I feel like I connect with.

And this is far from being true 100% of the time, but there are definitely moments with some of my oldest friends where I feel like the only thing we have in common these days is how lonely we all are.

Can someone please tell me how to make friends as an adult?

It feels a lot more challenging than it should be.

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