Sparrow 🐦 @Sparrow@awoo.space

Twitter pros & cons:

Pros: can keep up with cuties who don't have Mastodon, likes on my selfies which feels good, farther reach overall

Cons: no CW's, I'm pessimistic enough as it is & twitter just makes it worse

It's only 6:30 pm and I'm already so sleepy! Zzzzz

I am doing some MH processing with the workbook Leaving Loneliness. It focuses on attachment style and methods for forming Earned Secure Attachment as an adult.

Anyway as an exercise we're supposed to write our "Attachment Story". I'm almost done and I'm up to 3,377 words. I'm already past a NaNoWriMo day of output! Which is good, I think. :P

So I've noticed people talking about Magic a lot more recently. Did something cool and new drop?

Meet my neighbor!

The lighting is very good right now so... Selfie!

CW: eye contact!

I'm reading reviews for pillows, since I want to buy a good one for stomach sleepers.

Apparently some ppl are looking for "anti-aging pillows to prevent wrinkles from sleeping"... what? If getting wrinkles from your pillow is the worst of your problems, you must be living a swell life.

It's The Weekend, which means I'm staying home for today & tomorrow to save on transportation costs. I will probably go for a walk or jog later when I inevitably get cabin fever, but so far so good.

I'm so excited! I completed Week 1 of my Actually Doing Exercise plan, which means I get a reward- a new pillow that doesn't suck! Time to go research the best pillows for stomach sleepers. :D

I finally finished my taxes! Which means I can dick off for a bit before I do the dishes. :D

Good morning, folks!

I hope you all have excellent days. I wish you the best in all your endeavors, whatever they happen to be. ✨​

Anyway, that's my oversharing for today. It helps to just articulate my discomfort.

The good news is that I have health insurance, so I just need to coordinate and see what kind of mental health care I can get.

I've also become increasingly uncomfortable with my body, despite starting to work out. It's not just gender stuff. It's like I'm disgusted with being a biological organism altogether. I just feel revulsion at my fat, my skin, my internal organs, especially my sexuality. It just all feels gross.

I used to have a healthy sexuality. I don't know what happened.

I went off prosac (dose was 50 mg/day) in January.

Since then I've been *okay*, but I've noticed in the last month I'm having panic attacks again and crying much more frequently.

So... I think it might be time for me to see a therapist again.

It's been a really hard day and I just need a hug.

*Goes to wikiHow*: "How... To... Make new friends... Without wanting to throw up..."