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I love you all. <3

Thanks for continuing to follow me in spite of all of my bullshit

So last night @Aradia@mastodon.social made delicious brownies for board games night and I just found where I put the leftovers. Yum!!

I really really really wish I could tell the voice in my head that everyone secretly hates me and just are too anxious to say it to my face to shut up.

(-) 

It feels like wherever I go, there's trouble, and I'm not sure how much I'm the cause or not -- or how much others assume such. I seem to keep rubbing people the wrong way when I don't intend to. And when I do, no one wants to talk to me about it, so I'm left confused as to what I'm doing wrong...

Coroner says she was high on somethin' called Blue Jackpot. It's a nootropic for sea otters.

@Alistor Reading your profile "Otter kaiju"? I am interested, I tend to like kaiju lots.

So I think I pieced together what the heck ✨Plush Punk✨ means now. 

✨Plush punk✨ is a subculture of punk that extols kindness, community and all around ‘softness’ (either figurative and/or literal!), but is ready to raise hell when something threatens those values.

Memories of abuse (-) 

There was once where I was mad at my mom, well after her divorce with my father. I angrily stepped past her to shut the door. She flinched away and covered her face. Then smiled bashfully and said "Sorry. Reflex."

Nightmare from how unproductive and lazy I am. Sigh. I need a change

It looks haunting with it’s clipped claws devoid of use and ability, grasping for something which the world forgot. It feels right, though, and you fastening a roof of leaves between the statue’s fingers. By dark, the luminescence of the forest created a dim but peaceful light, and the nocturnal sounds fill your senses. It is safe. The forest is always safe your kind. Perhaps not the long gone creatures whose buildings and statues the forest eats.

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The forest at night echoes with dreams of all creatures flowing through the roots of the tall trees. Your lover and you decided to top by dusk at the runes of a statue that looks like the hand of a species you have never seen before covered in moss and vines. The hand’s claws are clipped at the tips of their digits and no fur adorns it, only flesh. it sits grasping at something long since reclaimed by the woods.

Medical, gender 

WA health care authority has a GD page dedicated to transgender care and what is/isn't covered and my mind is being blown right now as someone who had to repeatedly explain to health care professionals what trans folks are & get confused answers

I like it when I introduce people together and then they get along really well. <3

On Abuse (3) 

The big thing however: Even if someone IS willing to change their behavior -- there is never ANY reason to insist that you should forgive them for the abuse they inflicted upon you. Sure, they might be changed and apologetic, but they still hurt you. And quite frankly, if they hurt you for long enough with unchecked behaviors, that might have corrupted the way you two interact because it's just become ingrained.

Abuse is just awful & insidious.

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On Abuse (2) 

However, manipulative abusers will act apologetic when pushed into a corner only, and then just get more subtle or find different targets that others don't care about.

If someone abuses others that they don't have to treat well, and treat people differently based on what they can get away with (example: shoving around someone they know will put up with it), that's a really big red flag.

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