Veladynee Amaren @Veladynee@awoo.space

Pizza. Tasty. Stuffed pizza and stuffed dragons.

Been actually crawling out of my shell today to socialize. Spending time with my roommate out, meeting up with local Arizona dragons. Yesterday went hiking and spent time out with a snout I've known for a decade.

Going out seems to be good for me, and I might finally stop being as much of a hermit like I have for years... Slowly.

Excited to see my partner soon too. 2 weeks and I can just collapse in their arms for a week away from everything. I really need that.

And in turn I'm slowly discovering it's okay to actually take time for myself and treat myself well.

I've realized I've been, over the last week or so what feels like a constant state of derealization and depersonalization.

I can tell I love my partner, I enjoy my friends, and my life is generally going well but everything feels fake, far away, distant, like it isn't my own.

Does anyone else get this?

I believe it more or less manifested after my immense hypochondria issue and after I've laid off weed for a long period of time and wondering if that's the THC not in my system anymore.

It's just such a strange feeling, like constantly being in a dream.

So my HOA invited me to NextDoor which has been... An experience. My partner told me what to expect but holy hell. They were so right.

My neighborhood is literally just old rich white people bitching about the poor, minorities, and coyote sightings.

I guess I shouldn't have expected anything different.

Mental status back to: 98% normal.

Root cause from doctor: Lack of REM sleep. I had apparently been going weeks without any and it was leading to increased anxiety and general malaise.

Solution: More sleep, better sleep, use melatonin and avoid constant cannabis use for sleep, as it apparently interrupts REM sleep in the amount I was using?