distressed egg 🍳 🔞 @distressedegg@awoo.space

Friends, I'm a lot of things and I'm far from perfect, but I solemnly swear from the bottom of my heart that one thing I'll never do is post five thousand hi-resolution photos of cleaning and loading firearms to my smut blog every single day. End of press conference, no questions

ALSO HEY, LRT: MY FRIEND @Beelzebub​ IS FUCKIN' AMAZING, PLEASE GO FOLLOW THEM IMMEDIATELY

http://distressedegg.tumblr.com/post/167067127454/and-hey-since-reading-comics-on-tumblr-is-kind-of i made a big-ass Tumblr post of all the Ill-Tempered pages in one easy-to-read place, btw!

FROM THE PATREON: the twelfth and final page of Ill-Tempered! what, you thought Jo was gonna come out of this okay? (i mean... he KIND OF did... as part of a horny rabbit that came out of his own psyche...)

a new comic starts today on http://patreon.com/distressedegg and it's totally different than this one! subscribe to look at it immediately and stroke that little voice in your head that screams out for instant gratification.

#nsfw https://awoo.space/media/uw0kyTmiO7PE9OwQDwA

FROM THE PATREON: HYPNO MONTH IS ON!! i wanted to kick things off with something cute and chill, so i drew everyone's favorite nerf antelopes hanging out in bed gettin' trancey together. (DON'T WORRY, WE'LL DO WEIRD FANTASTICAL HYPNO STUFF THIS MONTH TOO, IT'S COOL)

LISTEN TO THE SOUND OF MY VOICE: subscribe today for more cool cool spicy content http://patreon.com/distressedegg

#nsfw

https://awoo.space/media/77qhxBzhlS0mpfuFI3s

FROM THE PATREON: c'mooooon, you thought we were gonna get out of TF Month without hitting on one of the oldest tropes in the book? no WAY.

GET COOL SMUT FOR A REAL STEAL: subscriptions start at just $1! http://patreon.com/distressedegg

#nsfw

https://awoo.space/media/LDFQTBku0EbWHnfKynk

FROM THE PATREON: some Spicey Cat People art loosely inspired by that "forced feminization" thread i posted on here a few weeks ago! i wasn't gonna stop thinking about it until i DREW something about it.

...>:3c

subscribe today for more discourse-laced queer smut: http://patreon.com/distressedegg

#nsfw

https://awoo.space/media/sw_vLNwdz83ZEzSjnQQ

also yo i've been thinking about changing my update days to Mondays and Thursdays since Sundays have been my day off ever since i started freelancing??? is this bad y/n

every time i post a reply to a locked account on the browser verison of this site the button changes from "AWOO!" to "AW..." and: lmao

UPDATE: good-ass thread on Accursed Bird Site re: why erotic artists like yours truly are (probably, mostly) safe from patreon's Porn Cull: https://twitter.com/GRohac/status/922261445047406592

AGAIN: I guess we'll be okay? we'll seeeeeeee

@distressedegg anyways, We'll Keep Yiffing If You Keep Watching

(and if we get shut down, I'll find some other way to work out a subscription service. YOU CAN'T STOP US)

@distressedegg seriously, this is 1000% bullshit. They've already pulled the plug on a few significant adult Patreons and all my queer pornographer friends are flipping out about what they'll do if they're next

D.EGG CORPORATE RESPONSE TO THE PATREON PORN BAN:
1. Uhhhhhhh
2. Fffffffuck, umm
3.
4. I guess I'll just keep posting until they ban me???

FROM THE PATREON: Ill-Tempered, p.11! tfw u nut so HARD u fuckin dissolve into a big horny PUDDLE

(melt your brain with cool porn by subscribing today: http://patreon.com/distressedegg)

#nsfw

https://awoo.space/media/6cy-Fk1s_d6uQeiycDo

FROM THE PATREON: this piece was originally called "paper dragon" but one of my patrons suggested calling it “bookwyrm” and i had to physically smack my forehead with my hand in real life because that’s literally too fucking good. also i feel like book-based TF is underrated and should be explored more.

CHECK OUT more awesome spicy art by subscribing today at patreon.com/distressedegg!

#nsfw

https://awoo.space/media/QhbmClSasuY69WcWPkc

IT'S SPOOOOOKY MONTHLY SKETCH POLL TIME, DEAR READERS. Which FRIGHTFULLY FRISKY theme will we dive into Halloween with? YOU DECIDE!!

http://www.strawpoll.me/14150817

FROM THE PATREON: sketches for our wonderful, brilliant, irresistibly sexy $20 Deviled-tier patrons for this month! clone TF, plush self-repair and some good old-fashioned vore!

subscribe at the $20 to get a custom sketch like this every month! OR subscribe at a lower amount to check out cool cool porn before everyone else! http://patreon.com/distressedegg

#nsfw

https://awoo.space/media/vlfc2IcsDrpuM6VdOM4

FROM THE PATREON, TF MONTH CONTINUES: kotep did a reeeeal quality story a few days ago about sexy cat TF via streaming (https://blog.kotep.xyz/post/165627483692/for-a-while-ive-wanted-to-write-about-a-tf), and i needed an idea for today's sketch. SO HERE WE ARE. this ended up WAY more elaborate than it needed to be, let's be honest.

LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE: http://patreon.com/distressedegg

#nsfw

https://awoo.space/media/ZT3Itp4qE78Mv0Eq9b8

tfw you're fuckin pumped for those sweet sweet boosts 'n toots

https://awoo.space/media/376IqICWZ_y3BvQov-A https://awoo.space/media/rcG5xaynGhFKnVuwSn0