polytheistic theology
@starkatt In all honesty I'm not entirely sure. I don't feel like a "part" of a deity, or a shard, or any thing of that sort. I feel like the whole deity, just kinda....I don't all fit into the body so a lot of me floats around it or something?
I connect to some part of myself that's much larger and has specific influence and force and manifestation, I suppose? It's just more like I've got my hand shoved in a puppet and I'm controlling it from wherever the rest of me is.
polytheistic theology
@starkatt Go right ahead, I've got at least some of the answers, Im sure :P
polytheistic theology
@starkatt If you don't mind the perspective of someone who experiences being a deity, I actually resonate with this a lot in that how I've defined myself and my form and what forces I embody is as much influenced by how others have perceived my deific self as it is by my own self-discovery and evolution and set ways.
species dysphoria donation post updat
@myst It's incredibly appreciated, and I wish you luck in your own struggles with dysphoria :pray_hmn_v2:
species dysphoria donation post updat
Just wanted to keep others in the loop! I still need more but I've gotten donations already and I honestly still can't believe it and am deeply appreciative of every single one. Even small donations help and I'm really honest-to-gods floored and moved that folks would help me out like this. Thanks everyone who's donated and boosted so far! I got 5 days left till the appointment and Im still under target so it's definitely still open!
Hey Awoo + friends, i really need some help. Im very suddenly out of a job, struggling to find a new one/make money, and am halfway through a really important part of my transition.
I have AWFUL species dysphoria that causes enough distress that Im in therapy for it, and getting paw tattoos on my feet has been a huge step in relieving that. In order to afford the other half of my tattoo I need at least $150 to cushion the $300 cost. Paypal donations to chris@sgreig.com are honestly appreciated.
schizo things; paranoia; why ive been absent
I will. Try to make posts here again.
I'll overcome my paranoia and anxiety somehow. Or at least wrassle it for a while and try to be comfy here till i need another break?
Is so hard when Im honestly convinced the entirety of Masto hates me. Every person. All talking about me where I cant see it. Even if they don't know me.
It's absolutely paranoia and delusion and i super know that rn but jfc it does not make using this platform any easier. x x
species dysphoria
And I don't know how many people will take this seriously. I figured this would be the place I'd have the most luck, but even here I worry.
There's only so much I can do to get someone to treat this with the same seriousness as an SRS donation post. But I'm not lying when I express how badly I need this, how much my therapist has supported my whole transition, how incredibly painful it is to live this way knowing people think I'm a joke.
All I can ask is for help. :(
species dysphoria
Over and over for an entire year, I had to put my first appointment to get the first paw done off over and over because finances have been so hard. And when I finally got the first paw done, I CRIED. I cried and smiled at it for so long, stretching out my footpaw and finally seeing something right and connecting with that part of my body. And I can't push off my appointment on the 30th now for another gods-know-how-long. I can't stand this ugly, distressing mismatch. It hurts.
species dysphoria
I've talked about it in therapy alongside discussions of my gender, because really they're one in the same. My androgyny relies on my nonhumanity and my gender is informed by it. They're entirely inseparable for me, and that's why I consider this as much a part of my whole transition of being as anything else. I can't transition gender-wise without the species modifications, too. I will never be comfortable or happy without both sides of myself fulfilled and recognized.
species dysphoria, self harm
To give some background, I've been struggling with species dysphoria since I was a little kid. I've always felt my body was wrong, needed to be more canine than primate, on four paws not two feet. It's caused me the same distress as my gender dysphoria and I've just as badly wanted to injure myself, have had just as much immobilizing depression, and have felt just as divorced, alien, and dissociated from my body as my gender dysphoria makes me feel. This is HELL.
Hey Awoo + friends, i really need some help. Im very suddenly out of a job, struggling to find a new one/make money, and am halfway through a really important part of my transition.
I have AWFUL species dysphoria that causes enough distress that Im in therapy for it, and getting paw tattoos on my feet has been a huge step in relieving that. In order to afford the other half of my tattoo I need at least $150 to cushion the $300 cost. Paypal donations to chris@sgreig.com are honestly appreciated.
hey there awoo.space followers, long time no see :V i'm kind of inactive here bc my schizo ass is really socially anxious and paranoid but i'll maybe try to post stuff here again soonish
i'm also on plural.cafe now, too, so if u wanna follow an account for weird median subsystem rambling you can find me @vanish
The Flock⛦23⛦pronouns vary⛦dnfi under 18
a mess of blackbirds in a trenchcoat all trying to be the same person and variably succeeding.