Crinklewott 💕 @thingywott@awoo.space

i know i do it all the time now, but i still can't believe i can just conjure up cute oshawott like that

rediscovering the joy that was swapnote

@monorail oh, i get it

you're referencing Two Brothers And Then Also A Third Additional Brother, Myself

i'm really not a fan of being up this early, but maybe if i can make a strong enough habit of it, i can make it not such a big deal =w=

i mostly decided to try this because i think starting my day consistently by planning it in the morning would be a good habit for not having decision paralysis whenever i have free time

i have extremely organized (and overwhelming) lists of things i need to do, and being able to pick a couple and give myself permission not to worry about anything else seems like it would do wonders for me

plus the morning is extremely quiet, so that seems like a good time to do that

today is the first day of trying to become a morning person

i actually even set a bedtime for myself so i could get 8 hours of sleep before 7am

i wonder how helpful this will be..?

@EeveeEuphoria gosh, mood

there's just something about knowing that i probably won't like a thing that makes me extremely curious about what it is

pictured: how i interact with birdsite

@EeveeEuphoria i feel like those are the "default" instances that people who are new to the idea of masto go to, so the culture of cw-ing things isn't really as strong there

both because more people came from places that didn't have cws, but also because they are surrounded by more people who don't use cws

it's pokemon day in japan!

it's great because that means there's a lot of extremely good art being posted that basically guarantees this will be a good day for me, hee~

maybe what i need is more practice being out there?

practice communicating, and practice with negative reactions--because i'm inevitably going to run into a lot of them in the future when i try to make things to help my friends

maybe i think i need to behave "extra good" on the internet because i'm abdl?

and that, by being one, it makes me much more likely to be misinterpreted for reasons of malice down the line to hurt my friends and me for simply existing?

it's weird to not know the things you've internalized subconsciously; but if that's the case, it would make sense why i never let my guard down, even in super-casual and low-risk situations

but why to this *extent*? i don't get it

maybe its my general suspicion of irony and poe's law?

the idea that i have no say in the general perception of my meanings, even if I know exactly what they were and others don't is intimidating

but not *that* intimidating, is it? why does it get to me so much?

do i really hate the idea that much of people coming to me years down the line to tell me that "actually, it's pronounced gif" or whatever?