Xurnami, Hyena-dragon @xurnami@awoo.space

But the plans I am going to work on.

1) Continue to work on my new relationship with Grace and see where it goes (been burned by assuming all relationships in the past are forever so being more cautious.)
2) Continue to explore new relationships and friendships outside the zone of postfurry. Or at least not have to invite them in to have that relationship.
3) Be a hyena more. I'm not sure what all that is going to entail but I am a hyena and I need to be that more.

Everyone is doing introspective posts about plans for the new year.

I am somewhat impulsive when it comes to things and once I get over the stopping energy, I just do it. For example, I started just doing my workout three months ago and have been keeping that up and plan to continue.

More and more considering giving up Twitter for Mastodon if just for content warnings.

After listening to Seeming's SOL: A Self Banishment ritual a bunch last night, I woke up this morning to the general feeling of why don't I have fur.

@zebratron2084 While you are recovering, all of Liquid Television is online now. https://twitter.com/acarboni/status/937701248970526721

Ugh, this is really awful right now.

I live in a very left leaning state because I'm safe here. But that has no effect on the national stuff like Net Neutrality. And I've been trying so hard just to support and keep alive trans people that I haven't done anything about this threat either.

It is just too much.

@Phorm Glad to see you around again. <3

Since I've announced it everywhere, today is my Name Day.

For #WorldMentalHealth day, I deal with a number of mental health issues due to abusive parenting.

To expand further, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Depression, Disassociation, and currently figuring out if PTSD is on the table too.

The disassociation is primarily from being trans and hormones have fixed most of it. But fixing it has made anxiety worse.

I don't know how to self-care. I don't know what to do. All I do is wallow and it gets worse.

I don't know how to disconnect. I try watching media but I run out of that. 45 has made me yet again fearful about existence and how it might get me along with everyone else wiped out by two enormous narcissists.

I just started living.

Learn to read your own medications better yeen. Found out I’m on Buspar not Wellbutrin. My alcohol adventures are even less possibly related.

Yesterday, I learned that alcohol, especially socially, can shut off the anxiety part of my brain for a while.

Today, I learned that my anxiety part of my brain is trying to make up for that.

Please keep responses to this light and more being supportive hugging and stuff as I'm still not super stable about this stuff.

Had my first therapy appointment dealing with my mortality anxiety. After lots of crying, found that it quite probably has a basis in how my parents ruined my childhood. Fun realizations.