Xurnami, Hyena-dragon @xurnami@awoo.space

I will see Fully Automated Luxury Space Queer Communism.

LB: Memes as viral marketing worked on me. In this case, to back a Patreon.

Anxiety meds are helping. I still get the twinge of an anxiety loop about something but they seem to end much quicker.

OTOH, I was wondering why I couldn't seen @indi's awoos and realized somehow that I'd muted him. Ugh. That certainly didn't help my mood.

My mental illness of anxiety has been spiking and having human contact helps but right now that isn't happening.

You know what sucks. Being sick and wanting hugs and not able to get them.

I'm trying to make sure I stay around people so I don't get more lost in anxiety. Is anyone interested in having a hyena around this weekend? Or just know of things going on?

45 has made my anxiety worse. Drugs still ramping up. Some of the edge is off but I'm still a wreck. My roommate has been helpful too which is good.

My existential anxiety has been running rampant recently. Starting on Wellbutrin today and using my financial privilege to start personal training tomorrow. Hopefully this all helps.

Stuff myself face first into code to try and ignore the loneliness isn't working when I run face first into walls that I can't figure out how to get over either. I should probably eat.

Finally, it just feels like I have no close friends. Those who I am somewhat close to seem to be on completely different schedules and such from me to the point where it is like they don't exist at all.

Mastodon is the LJ replacement that people I know are actually using. I've missed having a place like that where you can post feels in a safeish way.

Most of the people I know who live in the area live in group houses which encourage those social needs. I can't do that sort of group house myself, I know that. But I also just ache so much from how lonely I feel every fucking day.

I was wondering if my aching loneliness was being without a job. Been at the new job for 2 weeks and still aching.

I'm on 5 slacks, 7 discords, 3 telegram chats, 4 IRC servers, 4 MUCKs, and I'm here and where is everyone talking? Twitter. The fucking cesspool that is reminding me of the awful situation we are in right now.

My roommate feels similar but doesn't have the in person or online structures I do and so leaving her makes me feel worse.

Headed down to San Francisco to get oriented in my new job. Will return to Seattle after to work in the company's Seattle office.

@Elanna Hi bird!

As my job gets closer to really starting the more stressed I’m becoming.