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food crime, drugs (implicit) 

you know what i really want right now?

you know how there's that whole trend of artisanal versions of horrible snack foods but with real ingredients, like "pop tarts" made from real shortcrust pastry, or Valrhona chocolate Ding Dongs

i want that for pizza rolls. like, an actually good fried wheat dough wrapper and some good italian cheese and sauce, maybe a little guanciale or something

it's still got to have that stretchy, tender kind of consistency, though

fuck it, i'll just order pizza, we do still live in a society

food crime, drugs (implicit) 

@zebratron2084

I severely miss the old la-choy eggrolls that they no longer sell in stores... looked just like the pizza rolls, but... little fry-baby deep fryer and fondue skewers...

re: food crime, drugs (implicit) 

@zebratron2084 isn't a gourmet well made pizza roll a calzone, by definition?

re: food crime, drugs (implicit), this will only make sense if you're a parks and rec fan 

@Leucrotta get out</leslie_knope>

food crime, drugs (implicit) 

@zebratron2084

I actually had this plan to make an artisanal PB&J shop here in SF. I was going to title all the items something pretentious, like "hand-crafted fruit reductions with selected peanut-styled aioli".

Make the whole thing inside a shipping container for lower rent. Have stations where customers assemble their own sandwiches from the multitude of selections. Charge them like $20 a sandwich.

Basically, it started out as a "How pretentious can I make PB&J" idea... But then it actually started sounding good?

food crime, drugs (implicit) 

@Phorm @zebratron2084

There... are actually places like this...

... they scare me...

re: food crime, drugs (implicit) 

@Phorm i mean, there are a lot of valid places to go with the "gourmet nut paste plus gourmet fruit conserve plus high quality bread" notion. i can easily imagine paying $20+ fpr, say, a hazelnut-chocolate-banana-strawberry deal on some grilled chocolate bread from When Pigs Fly in Somerville, MA

i realize that's very specific, but they had the best damn chocolate bread and i still miss them terribly...

food crime, drugs (implicit) 

@zebratron2084

you know... the pizza rolls would probably not be too hard to do at home...

make some pizza dough, roll it out super thin put a little cheese, some sauce on it in lines, put another layer of thin dough on the top, cut between the lines of sauce with a dull knife so it squishes together. then do the same with the long strips of pizza roll. then throw it all into a fryer

food crime, drugs (implicit) 

@001zlnv @zebratron2084

Wrap it in eggroll wrappings.

It'd work perfectly.

re: food crime, drugs (implicit) 

@JulieSqveakaroo @001zlnv i mean, my last experiment with eggroll wrappers actually went a little TOO well if anything... i should give it a try, really.

re: food crime, drugs (implicit) 

@zebratron2084 @001zlnv

Eggroll wrappers take Pizz points!

re: food crime, drugs (implicit) 

@001zlnv there are at least two very formidable women who have forbidden me to own or operate a fryer while they still draw breath and i can't claim they're wrong n__n

re: food crime, drugs (implicit) 

@zebratron2084

Because fire or because you'll use it too much?

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