Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@anthracite Oh that would be really cool of you and is probably in your best interests for cuddle maximization when I get back. I can pay you back immediately in cash! I'm coming back a bit flush by my low bohemian standards. ^_____^

First flight home to Seattle leaves in about an hour and a half. You know the drill: if something bad happens, love you all, had a hell of an interesting ride. Thanks for making my time on this shitty planet weirder and happier.

Much more likely, I'll be curled up with Peg in twelve hours, stoned out of my mind and stuffed with raw fish. =^____^=

@anthracite *simply switches to raccoon mode and makes a comfortable den in your ceiling until things blow over* =(^)_(^)=

If you go on a date with someone, and they have a People's Republic of China banner on their wall, well, that's a big red flag.

But if they have a Swiss flag instead, that's a big plus.

cranial = "brainal area"
occipital = "thwapal area"
optical = "squintal area"
nasal = "snortal area"
manual = "pokal area"
thoracic = "chestal area"
mammary = "boobal area"
abdominal = "foodal area"
inguinal = "humpal area"
gluteal = "sittal/fartal area"

(the venture bros nerds are on reddit debating whether their world's David Bowie, Klaus Nomi, Iggy Pop, and Freddy Merc... er, I mean, "Mr. Fahrenheit" are the "real" ones, and their semantic naivete is making my stripes contract with frustration -_____- )

overly literal-minded fan theories are a goddamn disease and the only cure is to bring back decent fucking humanities education, preferably with plenty of (post-)modern literature full of unreliable narrators-- so they can learn that causality in fictional worlds is nothing but an artful sleight of hand, and there's absolutely nothing "impossible" or "inconsistent" or (god help me) "relativist cultural marxist SJW" about that whatsoever. >___<

We are pleased to introduce our new fall line of Martian mane care products.

By R'oareal.

in other news my host body has its salt-and-pepper beard fully grown in and its mom has supplied it with a light grey bathrobe, and it has never looked more like a jedi

christ i hate jedi

@indi i ain't lookin', for Reasons, but i have instead interceded with eris and antler mom for a little divine grace on your behalf <3

i need to get a little gazelle-shaped cookie cutter and keep a supply of cookie prey around at all times, so i can murder one of those instead of saying things on masto/reddit that i should not -___-

@Leucrotta I've found that generally actual Henson stuff has aged pretty damn well. Muppet Show's humor's seemed a little dated and cheesy when I've gone back to it, but in a way that I at least found kinda charming? It's... hokey, but you can still tell just how much love and talent Jim and co. put into it. When it's "bad," it's generally lovably, endearingly bad on purpose like a Dad Joke.

@anthracite @001zlnv Assuming we don't go with the theory that the ponies in question are made of soft plastic to begin with...

@001zlnv you've won the trifecta: new desktop image, new style goal, saved to um "accounting documents" folder

i want a gun that instantly prints the word "FUCKKNOB" in large block stencil letters in indelible ink on a target from up to 2000 meters away

ideally it should be accurate enough to hit a forehead and concealable enough to take to a rally

@Phorm *brandishes riding crop, smirks, and hoists the X flag*

Hmmm. These look quite useful for Masto-- especially D, F, G, J, K, L, M, T, and were I a younger and more virile cat, Z.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_maritime_signal_flags#Letter_flags_(with_ICS_meaning)

oh my god after that raccoon gif i desperately want someone to come out with an animatronic AI-driven raccoon toy that will do fluffy robot parkour all around your apartment ^____^

(note i said your apartment not mine O:) )

@JulieSqveakaroo I mean, the demographics sure as hell work out. I think I, at 43, was the youngest non-employee by far, at either the casino or the antiques mall. Scary place.