Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@Aradia Grant doesn't count. Grant never counts. ;D Not because I don't respect his work, but because it's like playing with a 52-joker deck, all puns intended.

So... damn near *anything* is possible in the DC universe. We're all in agreement with that, right?

Meanwhile, Batman's narcissistic handwringing over his "code of honor" has conveniently let thousands of innocents die, just so his psychopathic playtime buddy can stick around.

I want to see an arc where some super-scientist or uber-psionic gets fucking sick of this and just performs massive, non-con psychic surgery on the Joker to FIX him.

Naturally, the premise is that Bats decides it's the surgeon who has to be hunted down and punished. The B plot is that the Joker is reassimilated into society and EVERYTHING'S WORKING OUT FINE until some busybody crusader decides to restore the status quo for the usual pseudo-humanist "BUT HIS SACRED FREE WILL!" reasons.

@tastymochafox Curiously, the third best time is sometime in early June, 568 A.D.

I'm at a loss to explain this, but the math definitely checks out. *shrug*

(apologies for all caps but all martian opera is in all caps)

YES, I LOVE RAWR!
ANYTHING GROWLY AND GROUCHY AND FIGHTY
ANYTHING SNARLY AND POUNCEY AND BITEY
YES, I LOVE RAWR!

JUST ASK THE GAZELLE THAT I TOOK DOWN THIS MORN
HIS JUGULAR VEIN IS ALL MUNCHED ON AND TORN
JUST CHECK MARTIAN YOUTUBE
WE WATCH IT LIKE PORN
I LOVE YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE FOOD

"Human earns a pound
Tiger gets a shilling
Eat just a little at a time
Terrans are quite filling."

@mona@cybre.space Fun fact/counterpoint: have you heard of the Buddhist concept of the "issendai?" (That's Japanese; the original Sanskrit is "icchantika.")

It's the hypothetical "least enlightenable person in the universe," the VERY last person who will ever wake the hell up, receive the dharma, and presumably turn the lights out on the phenomenal world when they leave.

I have long suspected it's me. ^____^;

Well, hemp's legal. Guess all of our problems are now over, since it's a miracle plant that's good for absolutely everything. Otherwise, I'd have to believe that a bunch of bearded countercultural types had fallen for their own hyperbole, and I just can't believe in that sort of a world.

I fully expect a cancer cure by next Thursday, an end to world hunger by the end of the year, an end to global warming by February at the latest, and free clothing for everybody for eternity. I see no reason not to assume we'll all be living in $500 compressed-hemp homes by the end of next year.

(Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy about the news. It's just... I was told we had to fix this because The Man Was Suppressing A Miracle Plant That Could Solve All Human Ills--- not, you know, because the prohibition made no fucking sense at all unless you were a shithead newspaper magnate with a lot of money in paper mills.)

Fuck it, I'm going for more, even though it's probably got a higher sodium content than Utah.

If this woman's food kills me before I get back, I want @anthracite to know I love her very much, make sure Kirt and Noa get a happy ending, and know that I died happy. Probably went straight to Dago Heaven, too, where I shall be fed by doting old ladies for eternity. :D

@acetone_kitten Honestly? I love the man, he's a literary hero and a true punk, but I was just kinda relieved to see he's been paying rent and isn't dumpster diving or anything.

Well... that he's not dumpster diving involuntarily. If that motherfucker's not a coyote on some metaphysical level, nobody is.

You have no idea how much I wish I could upload a few gallons of my mom's wedding soup to Awoo and let you all share it out.

I'm pretty sure this stuff is only an ingredient or two away from a depression cure, perhaps even an immortality potion.

@LexYeen@snouts.online Boss makes a dollar, you make a nickel. Drown him in brine like a fatcat pickle.

🖼

@acetone_kitten Huh. Did you know that John Fucking Shirley wrote four episodes of the 2012 TMNT reboot? O__o

HOCH HECH

@Austin_Dern please accept our pamphlet

https://rubrquun.dreamwidth.org/6372.html

Don't believe the hype. There is no known preparation of Pinkie Pie's mane that will prevent Westphall Syndrome OR Lynks Disease. The Ponyvax movement is based on thoroughly debunked magical theory.

#StayOutOfTheSnowglobe

@kel@dragon.style That's the spirit! Utter bewilderment reduces susceptibility to Westphall disease by 87%! (That's how Freakazoid managed to do his thing and stay so healthy. The metavores won't go NEAR Candleja---)

@mona@cybre.space *sigh* For you... I'll see if I can get JJ to do an extra shift in the lab. You're not allergic to Coptic Gnosticism by-products, are you?

(Figure A: https://i.imgur.com/3IJK89z.jpg)

(Figure B: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEFIgSnS26M)

(Figure C: https://i.imgur.com/UKTTmdE.jpg)