Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

This is one of those days where I'm mentally compiling lists of targets, juuuust in case society goes full Mad Max and shooting people in the face falls back into the realm of proper etiquette.

Not gonna lie—I'm drifting to the point where I see nothing except good manners standing in the way of taking out the whole Russian embassy. And nothing but good intel in the way of shooting people like Charlie Kirk and Ben Shapiro.

@kelseyhusky All my sympathies. Good luck out there, hun. *hug*

@001zlnv @JulieSqveakaroo Hey, it was a semi-accident! O:)

Still feeling a little bit of... ideation and a mild sense of generalized DOOM. There's no good reason for it—except maybe the political news, but that's making me feel more ornery than self-destructive.

Maybe losing our kitten buddy has upset my sense of the value of life and it's all survivors guilt. I dunno. Life is just not _fun_ right now, and I'm mourning a lot of lost sources of pleasure and wonder.

I'll get by. Raccoons are scrappers. Rabies & ennui are nbd.

The arcade was kinda neat, though—why the hell is my brain still obsessed with finding arcades in the MAME era!?—even though it was all tricked-out social media style and you needed points from some obscure MMO in order to do anything there. I at least managed to earn enough to eat at their cafe, and play some 12th-gen Pac Man multiplayer console. (Wish you could've been there, @JulieSqveakaroo!) Ended up flooding the whole place with a hidden maintenance pipe. Now THAT was fun.

As usual, the monsters and ancient conspiracies were fun and exciting and the old estranged friends and new social opportunities were nightmarish and heartbreaking.

I wish I would stop dreaming about her. And her. And him. It was nice having REM sleep back for a while, but now it's one more reason to want to find a cannabis source.

I wanted a glimpse back into the Otherness that was once inside my brain—not torment night after night with false hopes of reconciliation.

This is the part of the evening where I find myself very grateful to be synthetic, because I can simply take out my tongue, uninstall anything remotely resembling a speaker or a text display, put it in a drawer, and not get myself in trouble. Good night! If you need anything, I'll be in your attic, being grateful that I can also bang my head against things repeatedly and leave no harm except a faintly cherry-flavored splat mark.

Don't worry, I did have a tiny flash of self-destructive weariness today, but it was VERY brief, and I think the odds of doing myself in these days are the lowest they've ever been in my life. Something would have to SERIOUSLY change for the worst, I don't think a bout of bad mood or even kitty grief could do it. I have imaginary kids to raise.

As for the "Nuclear Throne all day" threat... heh, I got to Loop 1 4-1. (That's extremely good. :) )

@spacewastrel@snouts.online Aw, geez... *happy blush* I dunno what I did, it's not like the lot of us are rushing towards Good Ends...

Oh. Suicidal ideation, its just you. I thought I made it very clear I can't accept your offe... What's that? You say that this isn't about you, you just brought an old friend by. Hmm. OK. I'll let you both in.

Oh, hey, Ennui, how have you been! What you got there. some kind of game controller? Would I like to play Nuclear Throne for six straight hours so I don't have to feel things, you say?

Huh. You know what, I think I would. Thanks, guys, you've always been there when I needed ya.

Mood snapshot. Feeling a little invisible today.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61Ocno-uI3s

https://genius.com/The-raincoats-no-looking-lyrics

https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/voices/stop-using-phony-science-to-justify-transphobia/

Just whacked a transphobe with it on Twitter and wanted to share. It's my current weapon of choice, my trusty -shooter.

Yes, is a numeral now.

This cafe is playing Jacques Fuckin' Dutronc. After a binge of Talking Heads and Ramones. OK, I think I've found my home.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E05SSymMvdY

this week has been a toilet full of broccoli.

@mawr

👉🚪😠❗

Also, I ran into our neighbor's teenaged kid. I mentioned that Umbra was still missing, and he just kinda said, "Yup." He was surprised the new litter's stuck around as long as they have, and that Sugarfoot's stuck around at all. This is apparently quite normal to him, and while I STAUNCHLY disagree, I don't he's the kind of kid who would callously send a cat off to certain or likely death. This is what people do around here, and I don't like it, but it makes me worry less.

Several false alarms on the walk home from cafe. One of them REALLY got my hopes up, a real friendly little black kitty in damn near the same spot we lost track of Umbra—but they had big white footy markings and I just stooped and petted 'em and sang o/` You are not my cat but you're a good cat!! o/`

I also saw 3 more kitties on the way, for a total of 3 kitties without collars and one outdoor cat with nothing but a ribbon, all of which were plump & happy. Umbra should be OK.

@woozle @hummingrain @anthracite Feel free! Mars is a Free Culture planet and as for us raccoons... well, if you can pull it from someone's paws, it wasn't really their property. 😽

Oh no. It's worse than I thought. They're discussing playing the "tell us two truths and a lie about yourself" game at a social event.

They are gonna be slaughtered by a supernatural serial killer for sure. I am getting the fuck out of here.

(Actually, they're sounding scarily mature, organized, and practical compared to how I was when I was their age. But still... those names...)