Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@troodon [🐯​] *has Dragon Friend and Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat perks; stacks crazy modifiers*

*rolls*

*doesn't crit*

*grins unperturbedly and scriffles your iddle earfans*

*flops on back and mrrrrawrs: make a Will save DC 18, on fail you are compelled to purchase 1d10 fish and feed tiger by hand for 4d6 rounds* 💚​

But no, seriously, my OCD-adjacent intrusive thoughts are getting REAL bad lately and my subconscious is basically just an endless loop of misanthropic subvocalizations. Not too far from the film I just linked to, including their nonsense level and their relentlessness.

Zero or less desire to carry them out, and it's nothing that uncommon for people with my brain settings or correlated with actual violence, but... Jesus Fucking Christ, it's not a good sign of my stress level at all... or my current level of warmth towards humanity.

I REALLY miss cannabis, which is the only thing I've ever found that makes them go away completely. *sigh* Fuck you, John Bel Edwards, you idiot DINO boomer.

current mood: https://archive.org/details/PaulSharitsMandalaFilmsTOUCHING1968

[though all the following are done with humane and artistic intent, and this is a respected Structuralist film...

CW: MAJOR epilepsy warning, disturbing self-harm imagery, subliminal-length surgical imagery, neuroverbal hacking]

@Cerulean @frameacloud

Suddenly
My best friend is wood artillery
My second-best one was too ornery
Bet they'll fit in my trebuchet

@Cerulean @frameacloud See, I was just going to point out that it scans nicely with "Dankeschoen," which is nice for all the Wayne Newton fans who are into medieval artillery. But you did MUCH better.

@Cerulean @frameacloud

I flung something long
What it is I will not say
The world's best game of Pong
We conduct by trebuchet

<3

@Phorm [🐯​] I am so angry that the Beast of the Apocalypse is just a goddamn demon turtle. Listen, Satan, there are some perfectly talented tigers out there trying to break into the industry...

this is the most accurate portrayal i have yet seen of the passage of time under quarantine

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYopvaK_C8k

TREMBLE HUMANS FOR I AM NOW A CYBERNETIC ORGANISM, MORE MACHINE THAN CAT

@sig no brain today but that is a REALLY good write-up of the situation my bro <3 *fistbump* i'm so fucking torn, my mom won't vote this time around under any circumstances and i just can't tell her i ain't feeling her motives but it's still SO FUCKING INFURATING that whatever they're doing to us is working

raccoon meltdown impending

at this point i think i might just pick a random blatant falsehood and start doubling down on it for my own perverse amusement because who the fuck cares anymore

maybe i'll become a photonic denialist or insist distinguishing red from green makes you an ableist or start preaching that the influenza virus would return to its home on Pluto if we all wore hats or something

what the fuck difference could it even make at this point

when this is all over there are only two possibilities:

(1) i rent a whole cat cafe and spend an entire week decompressing in the exclusive company of nonhumans and even you aren't invited

(2) some motherfucking queer zoomer armchair pundit gets thrown off a parking garage by a psychotic raccoon, a quiet sort who mostly kept to themself

"Houses #1 and #2 can never be entered. House #3 can never be left. It is a very funny joke, because your comfort can only be achieved in delusion."</wernerherzog>

Sorry folks I might be slightly losing it here.

This is the day I have officially become old. This is the first day where I actually felt it. This is the first day where I have actively looked at What The Kids These Days Are Doing and wondered if maybe they aren't actively fucking it up. There is no crossing back. If I could see a way back, I would not take it. Young idealistic me is dead and good fucking riddance.

@hystericempress I like Soreth's idea.

feeling a bit better, thanks everybody for putting up with my distemper <3

@joshua there's no part of that sentence i didn't like!</zoidberg>

[​]

Whe... where did everybody go? Didn't we have our weekly headtenant associaton's meeting scheduled? Did I miss a memo?

*puts down mug of catnip tea and reads lengthy note from tigress scrawled in gazelle blood* "Terrans... Bernie... Reade... Biden... GRU... not gonna vote... discourse... frothing rage... entire antelope..."

"Bastdammit."

*sighs and rests forehead on conference table*

I... I could just eat a whole snowshoe hare cheesecake right now.

[​]

*roused from slumber* Huh?

*peers outside* Oh, fuck me.

I'll be in the Vile Curses section of the Great Library, frenetically trying to remember how to pronounce Enochian, if anyone wants me.

You're *not* gonna want me.

[🦄​] Are you kidding? Even I'm pissed off. If anyone needs me, I'll be in the HOOFING DOME.