Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

[​​] "Rez, what is best in life?"

[🐯] "Looking up the conservative troll du jour on Facebook, tracking him down to his family art gallery, discovering he inherited everything from his rich artist uncle, finding out he has a history of suing his own family, coming across an article about his arrest on felony theft charges, and dragging it all in front of him in the midst of a public debate."

[​] "..."

[​] "Cat, I knew I liked you for a reason!"

@Austin_Dern Honey... it's 2020. There are no more standards for why anything happens. You're lucky it wasn't a rain of walruses or a parade of cybernetic Scottish clansmen or a 40' Charles Nelson Reilly something.

I never thought I of all people would say this, but I miss baseline reality. =(;)__(;)=

@JulieSqveakaroo *cries*

It's tears of joy. No really. We really missed having six mewling mooch machines besieging every exit from our apartment. x_x

(Actually, I'm kinda looking forward to meeting them... and to the new season of playing Cat Fishing Derby out the studio window. We're gonna have to replace our main cat-luring toy, though, since Shemp broke the Jingly Man's stick in a fit of obsessive romantic passion. Shemp + Jingly Man = OTP :D )

https://i.imgur.com/1PvsHhg.gifv

Shadow had another freakin' litter. Three more kittens to besiege us. *sigh* Luckily, our neighbor has kindly taken them in again. This is her THIRD in the time we've lived here. We are definitely taking her to get snipped as soon as life returns to some semblance of normal.

Sugarfoot has been warming up to me a lot. We mewed back and forth at each other for a few minutes through the studio window while she lounged on the neighbor's car, then she jumped in through the window, sharked my ankles, and let me carry her back to the kitchen for a feedin'.

Shemp is still a cat. (He is also my precious stepson and has started actively arching into my hand when I reach down at him, and he consistently purrs when I pick him up. We played for like 20 minutes the other day, and I would destroy anyone or anything that took that precious little hunter's buttwiggle out of my life.)

Still perpetually low-grade frightened something will happen to them out there, but they still don't really seem interested in becoming Our Cats, so... this is the bargain we've made.

@Austin_Dern

[🐯​]: RAWR! IF I WANTED TO EAT A RACCOON I'VE ALREADY GOT ONE IN HERE WITH ME!

[:ms_raccoon]: *sighs and headshakes but doesn't even bother looking up from workbench* We've been over this, I'm NOT FOOD! I'm made of PLASTIC FFS!

[🐯​]: You're made of Jell-O sometimes.

[:ms_raccoon]: *Moog-modifed hiss*

[🐯:] I'M A BIG KITTY! AND I WANT A BIG BIG CEREAL!

Wrong answers only.

[There is no such thing as "Bushido (Book of the Samurai)." It's the opening quote from Jean-Pierre Melville's Le Samourai. But it seemed appropriate as I go more and more stir-crazy here. Thank goodness for my draconic femme fatale. 🐯❤️​​]

"There is no greater solitude than that of the samurai unless it is that of the tiger in the jungle... Perhaps..."

— Bushido (Book of the Samurai)

😿​

"Awww, silly humans. We never left them."

I killeded a roach. 🐯

It was one of the huge ones they call "palmetto bugs" around here. I freaked out about their presence in our apartment at first, but the research I've done leads me to believe they're not nearly as aggro about breeding and swarming as smaller northern species, so I've mostly gotten chill about seeing an occasional one.

When I first saw the little bugger, I even offered it a chance to scurry back into the crevices and disappear. I was ready to let it off with a warming, but first it ran out between my feet from under the couch... and then after my first attempt to whack it, it sought refuge in my FUCKING SLIPPERS.

That was a bridge too far and I was forced to get Martian on its ass. I ended up bellowing something about defying the Empress of Mars as I smashed it for the seventh or eighth time and unceremoniously dumped it in the trash.

Her Martian Highness is gracious and lavish in her mercies, but do not test Her patience. And you just stay the fuck out of Her footwear.

@zx3 Oh crap. That's NOT good. *hug*

I realize planets don't come much more unstable than this one, but please don't explode.

Oh god, Peggy is drawing Odie and I just realized that his tongue is COMING RIGHT OUT OF A HOLE IN HIS THROAT. There is absolutely no conventional dental, mandibular, or oral anatomy involved. I will never be able to unsee this for as long as I live.

My newest form of amusement: dealing with Internet kooks by going ten levels kookier than them, just to make fun of how easy it is to shoehorn any fact at all into an all-encompassing belief system.

"You may CLAIM that we're all sheeple for not seeing that Trump is being set up by the Rothschilde banking family inventing COVID-19... But if you REALLY knew the truth you'd know that these people are all just holographic projections! Trump, Schiff, Pelosi, Putin, AOC... you don't REALLY think they exist, do you sheeple? It's sad, what a tool of the Space Grackles you are."

"No, no, we have to be REALLY careful about these 40,000 COVID deaths, because the entire real population of America is really only about 60,000 to begin with. Everyone else is just created with the sophisticated use of orbital mirrors. That's why most of the people you meet are so similar to other people. And I think you know why... Mr. Space Grackle!"

@hystericempress I know *of* it--I was introduced to Our Pal Gog-Agog recently by a bit of fanart and did a wiki dive on it. I'm pretty intrigued.

@hystericempress The Watcher and I are right there with ya, sis.

[🐯​]:
​🎵 Oh, start your day 🎵
🎵 The Martian way 🎵
🎵 And scarf down 🎵
🎵 A whole chicken at once! 🎵

It was gewd.

current mood: just short of weighing the pros and cons of eating a stick of butter dipped in sugar

[🐯​]: *yelling*

[🐯​]: *frustrated pacing*

[🐯​]: *gnawing on thing*

[🐯​]: *more yelling*

[🐯​]: *knocking things in host human's brain over for no particular reason*

[🐯​]: *more pacing*

[🐯​]: *more yelling*

[​, 🐲​, trying to get some fucking work done]: *sigh*

[🐯​]: RAAAAAAAAAAAAA--

i wonder if the dark web is still a thing

she said

to nobody in particular

purely hypothetically

because she would never consider doing anything illegal

nor would she solicit advice for such from a broad group of people

mr nsa officer

*cough* O:)