Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

It's nice to be able to sit here and take inventory of all the things I no longer have to give a shit about.

I may have built a small part of this circus. My name might still be on some of the rides, in cracked and peeling paint. But I've got no more monkeys to feed, and the only clown I have left to worry about is a pretty & reasonably lo-hijink dragon harlequin. She might perform occasional acts of glamour and illusion, but she almost never *honks*.

I get lonely sometimes but the quiet feels good, man. Maybe I'll swing by the big top incognito again one of these days. Just to make sure the lions are getting proper exercise. But I'm not gonna tell anyone who I am.

I'm sorely tempted to tell a maximum of three people when/if I visit Seattle.

My morale was about to hit rock bottom again...

...which means tonight was a real opportune time to have the best meal I've had in New Orleans(!). Ethiopian place down the road just started doing delivery. My mouth is on fire and I can't remember what I was sad about.

@kelseyhusky @mawr We're putting the "cyon" back in procyonid! *wags in hopes of getting food* =(^)_(^)=

@Leucrotta Actually I was thinking "huh, I could stand to see Captain Blood again and see how it's aged"...

@arilin There's just something so _comforting_ about musty old word books.

If you're interested in expanding your collection, I highly recommend The Synonym Finder. Best thesaurus I've ever had.

https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/the-synonym-finder_ji-rodale/246312/

@mawr am ​ but felt was my birthright to have whatever dogs have 🤷​

@mawr

[​] *peers up distractedly from their workbench, where they are industriously mailing expired crawfish stuffed with rusty threepenny nails to the president*

"Huh? What? Hmmph."

*shrugs and returns to wrapping each little package in a used, frothy napkin*

@kistaro @OCRbot@fedi.lynnesbian.space

And then you have Chef Boyardee's offering, "lasagna adjacent to protein."

Or for the Homestar Runner fans out there: "Lasagna b/w Meat."

hurt mean people / break things / make scary noises / befriend monsters / get bellyrubs / eat everything / knock stuff off shelves / be endangered / die fat and happy

@mawr But... but... its home planet needed it! Now who will save them from Lord Plumbor?

still pondering the notion of suicide by cheesecake and hot wings tbh

i'm kidding but i'm not, you know? if it weren't for my parents and my stupid sexy dragon keeping me obliged to stick around...

i'm just so fucking bored and done with everyone's bullshit

Of fucking COURSE you're a LaVeyan Satanist. It was the only remaining personality trait that could have possibly made you more smug and annoying. Your identity jigsaw is now a fully assembled panorama of banal cliches.

@chimerror I have been known to refer to "taking one of those shits that has its own Act and Scene structure..."

@zx3 @Soreth @anthracite Laugh while you can, robot boy!

@Soreth @anthracite Well, don't tell us! We already know all these things! You've got to tell the world's great intellectuals and scholars, by which I mean, the Critical Shower Thoughts subreddit!

@Soreth @anthracite It's 2020. You can claim ANYTHING WHATSOEVER. There is absolutely no remaining cultural mediating force whatsoever that can stop you.

Nothing makes me sadder these days than 2 dozen+ leftists on a Twitter thread totally failing to tell when someone was being sarcastic.

("Yeah, but Obama didn't write me no $1200 check!" From someone whose timeline was littered with BLM and socialist memes--but that would have taken at LEAST 15 seconds of research to discover! It's 2020, who's got time for that shit? Not when you can get that dopamine rush from telling them off RIGHT NOW.)

Bless their hearts, Poe's Law isn't real, they just let the batteries in their joke detectors run out years ago. *sigh*

@xinjinmeng @anthracite Closest I could find is "Schlimmbesserung" ("improvement" that actually makes something worse) but that doesn't quite cut it...

@mawr Rockin' that neo-animist lifestyle! *high-five*

I mean, you've seen me referring to Peg's Tarot editions as "my stepdaughters Dawn Jr. and Dawn Sr...."