Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@Leucrotta Oh my god I actually found it...

@Leucrotta

Hulk du Jour
Barton Hulk
Hulksucking Freaks
Carnival of Hulks
Dial H For Hulk
Being Hulk Hulkovich
The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Hulk
Hulk Star Man
Don't Hulk Now
The Hulk of Yucca Flats
Eraserhulk
Honnie Hulko

@Leucrotta трактор! репа! ягодицы!

*hopes you were a Bloom County reader* :D

@001zlnv 1000 years jail for zebra ;__;

except that ceejay ain't like that

i can not imagine he would support the carceral justice system, little anarchopacifist refusenik that he is

if anything he will simply grieve the damage to my soul during tomorrows meditations in our papaya grove (which we do actually have if two trees are a grove) and quietly contemplate the decay of the human political state

i found ceejay... but i also accidentally booted the little guy as he was bounding up behind me in the dark and now he's a little scared of me D:

that poor kid just can't catch a break

But seriously, "trollbots" really distracts from the reality that much of this activity is by paid human agents. And I think that's *fascinating* somehow. I always have the hope that I'm gonna be one of the lucky few who can actually get a glimpse under the mask. It HAS to be possible to press an emotjonal button so hard that one slips and exposes themselves. It's the countertroll's Holy Grail.

(oh right, context:

that one REALLY delusional congresswoman, marjorie taylor green, announced impeachment articles against biden and the botfarms turned out to support her)

listen i'm not saying these shenanigans are going to help one bit

i'm not even saying i think it was that clever

i'm just saying that it was really really fun to post

i had a good time and that's what's important

PATIENT: Artemus, Princess Heir of Shadow

ALIASES: Unknown

CLINICAL NOTES: ate treat, snuggled, bounced around

PRELIMINARY DIAGNOSIS: adorable, hyper, no clear sign of acute digestive issues

Five down, just gotta track down our wild little shaman Ceejay. He's gonna be the tough one to watch, only one who won't set foot in the apartment.

@JulieSqveakaroo YES. Thank you. It felt like a short about history that had no real depth to its concept of what history actually IS.

It had that stereotype Faintly Liberal White Literary Guy sense of "Gosh, Earth is just so good, it's all good stuff, let's not get into the messy parts." His version of history was so squeaky clean, with all the emotional intensity or skepticism of a guy collecting stamps or matchsticks or dead butterflies something.

And I couldn't get past thinking, "Why the FUCK would anybody do it this way to start with?" Why hire ONE guy? For that matter, what was wrong with all the OTHER histories written on earth? Are we suddenly no longer going to have access to electronic storage? Why was he not an academic? Is this really an engineering or clerical sort of job that needs someone who's just really diligent -- and not someone who will ask the HARD questions? And WHY IS IT A MIDDLE-CLASS WHITE GUY AND NOBODY CARES AT ALL?

The whole thing just felt like it didn't ask any questions, it just kinda came along and asked us to bask in the same warm centrist humanist "Gosh we sure did a magical thing together, didn't we folks!" fuzzies.

And in the process there was one glaring question: "Why do you pick NOW to mourn some of this stuff, just because aliens are gonna wipe us ALL out -- yes, gosh, even the white middle class, how dare they!" Humans have been GLEEFULLY wiping out other humans' history from the first recorded day. Are we seriously supposed to get all sad just because it's happening to the rest of us now?

I just spend the whole time kinda shrugging and going, "Yup. We all end up in the Void, buddy, and some of us get pushed. Did... did it really take you this much of your life to figure this out?"

And there you go. If I had to rewrite this myself... that's what it would be about. Instead of just going over his pretty little collection of disjointed historical moments, he'd stop and REBEL. The process of looking over human history would leave him really unimpressed with human history. Maybe he'd even decide to trash the whole record at the end.

well, peebers is definitely her usual self, i.e., the largest snuggle capacity per pound of any cat on earth

i'm kinda trying to take em each in one by one to observe 'em for a couple minutes, see previous post on their tummy upsets, and so far 4 of the 6 seem fine? still gotta check artemus and ceejay, peebs wasn't into a treat but no big, and sugarfoot was a little sneezy but no signs of lethargy at all so maybe I can worry a bit less...

@LexYeen I am already in a fine position to reciprocate, given the first one's about L Ron. This is PERFECT here, my favorite podcast episode of all time.

https://thedeadauthorspodcast.libsyn.com/chapter-45-part-1-l-ron-hubbard-featuring-andrew-daly

https://thedeadauthorspodcast.libsyn.com/chapter-45-part-2-l-ron-hubbard-featuring-andy-daly

What really impresses me is how much research Andy must have done for this. It's quite difficult to tell Andy's (brilliant) improv from lies L Ron really told, and that's what makes this the mathematically best possble bio of the SOB...

@LexYeen Oh, BTB! I have been meaning to get around and listen to these for AGES, I just didn't recognize Robert's name!

@LexYeen NO. I WANT THIS. <3

@LexYeen Yeah. It's like interviewing Al Capone about Eliot Ness. You might get a SLIGHTLY less than objective evaluation. -_-

Of course, the metaphor isn't quite perfect, given this is Mitch, until Capone's in some pretty advanced neurosyphilis stages. :p

@LexYeen But yeah, I've though it through, and if I ever ended up like Winston from 1984... I'd probably end up screaming "DO IT TO PEGGY" but not after I'd bitten off at least four of my handler's fingers out of sheer spite.

@LexYeen A yeen after my own heart. I have SO MANY outright threats to the gods outstanding and, given the quality of my life, apparently unresponded to.

(It could just be the quality of gods I worship, though. The Jackalope Mother is EXACTLY the kind of lady who would wield supreme power pver all other gods and just... never have it dawn on her there'd be a reason to tell anybody else about it.)

And nobody's gonna tangle with Bast FFS. You'd have to be such an asshole even for a god...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTV7gNpECW0

So... the above is a Sundance-winning animated short about a man asked to chronicle human existence before the world is destroyed by hostile aliens. It came recommended on Boing Boing, and now that I think of it... that might answer the question I'm about to ask all by itself.

I didn't like it. It should hypothetically have pushed all my warm humanitarian buttons. It should not have triggered all my "yes but what about X?!" literalism about a premise. That's not a tendency I usually indulge; I usually am very willing to suspect disbelief and go with the flow.

But I'm very tired after a day of cat stress, tech support at work, and (unrelated) severe headaches. And our dealer hasn't gotten back to me yet. :P So I don't really have the mental energy left to dig into why it didn't work for me. Or why it left me muttering "Yup, that's definitely from the New Yorker" and shaking my head.

Would anyone else care to watch it and speculate on why it bombed so badly for me? I already have some REAL good guesses, but some of y'all know me better than I do...

@kistaro @JulieSqveakaroo My anxiety journal's been an absolute godsend. *nod*

Dammit, found kitty barf on the porch for the second consecutive day.

Found a lot of hair and some grass in the first batch, have not inspected the second and -- yuck -- probably won't, there's not enough left after the rain anyhow.

I guess with six cats there's a huge chance that two different cats ate the same questionable thing, but... now I still can't help being worried one of my babies is out there sick and I don't even have an easy way to tell which one.

We'll keep a close eye on 'em I guess. Nobody's lethargic and I _think_ everybody at least showed some interest in eating this morning?

Fret fret fret, though. D: