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cats, ph (extremely mild -), lovesnark 

I love you like my own little supervillain daughter, Artie. But in the alternate universe where you did NOT take a nice little claw-nap on the left lens of my eyeglasses and scratch the shit out of it... I love you rather more.

re: cat ----- 

@woozle @kestra I'm so sorry. Prayers will be directed to Bast on their behalf. *hug*

shenanigans, doggerel, apologies to E. A. Presley 

zebra threw a party at the twitter jail
he got 12 hours 'cause he started to rail
on an apple ex-employee who's a sexist dick
'cause he had all the morality of a wood tick

let's block
everybody let's block
don't waste my time with small talk
throw an IT bro out the airlock

infinity train book 3 spoiler 

Also I'm kinda sad that Book 4 looks to be set earlier than Book 3, and the series is over, which means we'll probably never figure out what happened to Hazel. :(

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capsule review: infinity train book 3 

It was a huge and repeated punch in the gut, arguably "worse" than Steven Universe or She-Ra. It was also pretty clearly a direct, targeted, subtle and EXTREMELY SKILLFUL effort to immunize kids against fascist grooming.

I am so fucking grateful and hopeful, and I hope all the right kids in the right places got to see it.

food, ph (mild -) 

Dammit, looks like I am definitely developing an allergy to crab.

It's just at the "tingly mouth" stage but I think I'll stop now before it gets any worse. I've got enough things to worry about without anaphylactic shock.

(Luckily, I still seem to be OK with shrimp and crawfish.)

re: snark 

@Orb2069 I figure that comment was intended for @anthracite on her Golden Dawn notes? Regardless, I approve. n.n

re: Generational terminology, Seriously Goddamn it 

@Phorm I mean, I was born in '75 so if either of us is "geriatric..."

I am currently saving you people from a huge memetic hazard by not discussing a really stupid new slang word I've just heard about.

For everyone's safety, I am declaring a moratorium on ALL new culture until we get this resolved.

vital fursona update; aging ungracefully on purpose 

OK, yeah. It stared me right in the face and bared its grossdorable orange buck teeth at me.

My oldjerksona has gotta be a nutria. Just imagine this grumpy little shit (Fig. 1) as an anthro with grey hair, granny glasses, and a highly musty brown leather jacket (Fig. 2).

And then GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY WAY, KID, I'M IN LINE HERE.

re: mh (~), super dark 

You know what I really want?

An amusement park where I can play at being a slasher-film villain for a day. All props and actors, wiffle chainsaws, nobody really gets hurt, but there's a lot of satisfying screaming and insincere deathbed penitence that I can cackle and ignore.

Maybe I just need to reinstall Hotline Miami or something and take my wrath out on some pixels.

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re: mh (~), conflict, covid-adjacent, Irish sarcasm 

Every single incident like this-- every bad encounter with another member of the general public, every event that leaves me genuinely unsure who's the asshole-- pushes me that little bit closer to becoming an "Oh Hello!" fan insertion, i.e. a depraved and cheerful old bastard who gives not the faintest fuck.

(Example: youtube.com/watch?v=tfdMsxSjY3)

I wonder if there's any way to turn my hair grey faster. I wonder if there's any alternative to just giving in and becoming an asshole without regret. I wonder if I have the energy to hold out any longer. It'd be a lot more fun than torturing myself like this every time I try to stand up for myself.

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mh (~), conflict, covid-adjacent, Irish sarcasm 

I was either Karened at the local cafe this morning, or committed a huge inexcusable faux pas by not covering my mouth, one time, while coughing at a perfectly innocent woman from six feet away. We had a big ugly conflict with everybody staring and then I stormed off home.

She definitely shot first but I was not entirely in the right; I can see why an uncaught cough could make someone real upset these days. I'm pretty sure I would have apologized had she not chosen "maximum snide" as her opening gambit.

I am currently drowning my frustration and self-loathing in the most sarcastic and misanthropic stand-up comedy I can find, reassuring myself that I'm not the only crusty old pariah jerkass out there.

Bless your cynical besotted heart, Dylan Moran.

snark 

There are some people on Masto whose cw could say "Rainbows, Cake, and Fluffy Bunnies" and you still just know it's gonna be about grey skies and doom somehow.

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