Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@monsterblue *doubletakes on way home and wonders how a tiny dragon living in a forest nook even knows about Omega Mart, thinks about Peg and everything she knows about dragons, shrugs, and doesn't worry about it* :)

@monsterblue Haha, apparently the RL Omega Mart installation is in utter chaos so I don't think they'll be up for any wacky schemes for the foreseeable future. :) I didn't seriously expect it to go anywhere anyhow, it was a lark!

@monsterblue *ponders gaming the system with tiny kumquats, but doesn't have the heart*

*lavishes the dragon with pricey cherimoya, jackfruit, pitaya, and longans instead, only leaving the kumquats as tips* <3

@Trouffee@mastodon.social Doing our best but it comes at you pretty fast down here sometimes. ;)

Peg just threw me out. The cats are gonna live in here with her and I'm gonna move into the abandoned basement next door where they've been sleeping.

She wouldn't even let me poop first, but I locked the bathroom door and there's not much she can really do about it.

(Peggy and I have the GREATEST fights and I love her and her snark so very much. <3 <3 <3 )

@Leucrotta I see you too have studied classical Martian formal logic! 🐯​

ACTION RECOMMENDED:

AVOID THE AIR

this DM to my ex just makes me smile is all n.n;

@anthracite It really does, with the emphasis on Faux though? Like, you know the old saw about how it's really hard for a good actor/singer to realistically act/sing badly? It feels unconvincing in the same way.

i'm so envious

i want ponycake

i wanna be ms. ponycake up there

this is definitely not a vore thing

this is definitely a pony thing

@chimerror I miss the Church of the Subgenius. They had their flaws but DAMN could they crank out a baroque infographic.

@chimerror I realize it's probably this incoherent on purpose because it's a "deepfried" satire of political compasses. There's just... at least a dozen quotation marks around anything they're saying here and I just can't live like that in '21.

@chimerror YES EXACTLY :) It's... it's like someone dipped a joke frame into a wet thesaurus and stopped there without understanding what any of it meant. There's no *statement* in it. There's so much room for real satire or real visionary politics in this joke structure. But there's no there there.

HINT 1: This name was spoken by Lisa Simpson except that it wasn't...

HINT 2: It involves a crime committed in Los Angeles.

HINT 3: He was sentenced to an appropriate number of years away from society and real gorillas.

HINT 4: Oh for fuck's sake. :D https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJDz7Py6cvA

"Janos Prokedzian."

Thank you. The test is concluded. I wonder if I got at least one of you.

there was probably an embarrassingly recent day when i would have thought this was visionary genius, but me on the cusp of my 46th birthay is more like "ok my merry little prankster when is this gonna get anybody fed, housed, or cared for"

twice in a day

you can't imprison my heart, dorsey

i will devour your babies.

(still, i'm impressed that their algorithm can recognize "jump off a cliff" as a death wish...)

today i discovered @hasanthehun@twitter and it was a great experience because it's always nice to have someone on your own side you can conveniently point at and say "yes i'd like us to be the exact opposite of *that*"

@Phorm VERY YES. <3 Most likely issue, sadly, is that my laptop would probably be pretty useless with it, but again, if I have a good couple months, I'm thinking of new desktop anyhow...

RON HOWARD: "Four minutes later, Rezy shanked the warden."