Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

or maybe i just miss acid

a magical realist novel that's nothing but a reincarnated housefly's recollections of the time she landed on a piece of John Lennon's blotter acid and tripped balls amongst the Beatles for days (i.e. most of the rest of her life)

most of the book would have absolutely nothing to do with the Beatles nor with being a fly and would mostly be rambling digressions about theosophy, crystalline topology, group theory, Damien Hirst, and the history of stage magic

it was really good acid you see

Mom called, stepdad has a "slight chance" of heading home tonight. It's a bummer because obviously it means they only think they have a slight chance of fixing it, but I guess the fact they're even *contemplating* releasing him is probably a sign he's not at death's door or anything...

*shrug*

@xinjinmeng I really wish CW had picked that pilot up. April Winchell was just amazing as Roux, really committed. Though I do feel like Elaine Stritch was somewhat miscast as XJM. Had been hoping for Jessica Walter. 😽​

(This reminds me of a hypothetical question I've been meaning to ask: do the Gang of Four have their own huánglóng? ​)

@Soreth Ooh, yeah, those hypnograms REALLY belong on a frantic uspol debate thread or a TERFer tantrum, don't they.

The Bambi Terminator T-1000 Rides Again! *takes phaser rifle down from the mantelpiece* :D

Sigh. Stepdad back in hospital again. This time it's severe hyponatremia (sodium deficiency). Could very easily be heart stuff, could also be medication side effects.

It's my mom's birthday, too. God damn it. Larry's not at death's door or anything as far as I know, but mom does sound genuinely concerned this time-- and so damn tired.

And I have a bad feeling about this one. Granted, I've ALWAYS got a bad feeling when one of my family members is sick-- or missing for more than 20 minutes, or slightly unhappy.

But I've seen a lot of old folks in my life start the final stretch this way, with one little "oh, I'm sure it'll be fine" issue that just cascades and they're never healthy-- or sometimes even out of the hospital-- ever again.

I mean, I've mourned Larry like... four, five times now? He may end up making it to 90. But between the colon cancer (gone, apparently, thankfully), the COPD, and this, he's definitely out of warranty.

Welp. Hurricane season is almost over and I'm about due for another tragic disruption of my life. Just please make at through Xmas at the very least, dude. Love you, you old Hank-Hill-talkin' goober. I really wish I'd stopped smoking BTW>

@mawr Do those headpats have to be for transwomen or do cats count? I just want to know if I have hundreds, or thousands, of these headpats stocked up in my account...

I wasted a whole lot of time on countertrolling crusades vs Something Awful goons in the 00's, and the death of Lowtax has really got me reflecting on that period of my life. Speciflcally, on how I was right about everything and should be much more arrogant in the future. 😘​

@JulieSqveakaroo @LexYeen @zx3 It's from the "Jungle" episode of Mighty Boosh, S1E5!

@JulieSqveakaroo @LexYeen @zx3

ACTUAL SCIENTIFIC FOOTAGE:

https://youtu.be/6KJVjBuSrZ0?t=22

@JulieSqveakaroo They were absolutely loathsome. Corporate financier type, one mole short of a Monty Burns, one business card short of a Patrick Bateman.

@JulieSqveakaroo @LexYeen @zx3 And then they'll eat two wolves... and then they'll eat two wolves... and so on and so on and so on!

Wait. No. That was shampoo. Never mind, ignore me.

@Austin_Dern *bows*

@zx3

there are two wolves inside of you.

one is drinking a piña colada at...

*theater-hooked off stage*

@xinjinmeng I feel ya, it's MUCH more difficult for me as long as I'm Celexa. I coud really use a good long therapeutic cry, just to catch up with the last five years.

i am especially proud of the awfulness of the "suckling from pink pert middle age" line, i think the great k-strass[1] himself would approve

[1] aka the "proto-colin," look him up

Found the @desc for Beige-Tedium. Irritating fucked up line breaks left in on purpose. <3

Efficiently groomed from the tips of his angular ears to the tidy
brush of his tail, this beige-furred mink's features practically
clamor to avoid your interest. His headfur is faintly longer than that
on his body, grey at the temples, slicked back with an oily sheen of
hair tonic. His brow is creased from his permanent disapproving scowl.
Perched on the bridge of his muzzle, his thick trifocals shatter and
distort his face, but at least they hide his crow's feet. His posture
is impeccable, indulging in none of the unseemly slouches or lazy sways
characteristic of his species. If life were a breast, he'd be suckling
right from pert, pink middle age.

He wears a three-piece suit, ruthlessly purged of dust and lint. The
jacket is PC-tower beige, straight off the rack, but he seems to wear
it well -- so well, indeed, that it's hard to imagine him in anything
else. His shirt is white and unremarkable, and the cuffs partially
conceal the mink's sole interesting trait: the backs of his paws are
each tattooed with several black squares in an orderly grid. Of course,
he's also wearing a digital watch, that's kind of neat too. His tie
is solid grey, a shade approximately 0.1% more festive than that of
his jacket. His charcoal-colored pants have been meticulously ironed
to a level of smoothness previously achieved only in select military
aviation components. His feet are crammed into a smartly polished pair
of black wingtips.

In summary, he is twenty-six lines and two-hundred ninety words long,
with an average word length of 3.61. His @desc is fully 19% more
efficient than his player's typical @desc from the year 2000 -- a
most promising outlook for the coming quarter.

on this day in 1997 scott aukerman invented purple gravy

this is canon

I just remembered that I was Colin Robinson long before there was a Colin Robinson.

OK, story time. I'll try to keep it brief[1].

I had a friend on Tapestries named White-Delirium. She had a reputation as a troublemaker. She was a white mink girl in a bloody black rubber butchers apron. She was like Harley Quinn written by David Lynch. I adored her. I was also a good friend of her player in real life. They were practically my little sib.

Well, she developed a social circle/VR polycule around herself and everybody wanted a [color+psychological affliction/adolescent emotion] mink. Red Vengeance and Blue Malice or whatever the fuck, IK don't remember the actual names.

And they not only kinda missed a lot of what made WD charming, they actually had DRAMA over who got to be a mink and who didn't.

Well, I knew I had implicit permission to fuck around with White's character. She had even asked me to help destroy the minks once.

So.

Beige-Tedium.

I didn't call him that at the time, but in retrospect I set out to create the greatest energy vampire that TapestriesMUCK had ever seen, as a blatant satire of the other minks.

He would just go into the kinkiest rooms on Tapestries and read the newspaper and drink coffee, in lavish multi-paragraph poses. If someone tried to have a conversation with him, he'd ramble at them about bus trips and bowling techniques and modal jazz until asked in any way to stop.

I would only do this in a dead-quiet room and would politely defer to real conversation or RP... unless the political content or people involved annoyed me. I never said I was a saint. n.n

And I had the time of my fucking life. People were actually really fun and supportive about it, and I went out of my way to give hints that this was a big goof and everybody was invited to play along.

And those fucking baby minks WELCOMED Beige as their uncle. They LOVED him, those little bastards. They were all so ready for the furry RP Shaggs[2]. The plan totally backfired.

[1] oops
[2] http://www.warr.org/odds.html#POTW