Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@hystericempress No, yeah, this is EXACTLY what happened to me. Like, we've probably talked about how all the hypnosis stuff came STRAIGHT out of unprocessed separation anxiety and recurring nightmares about not being able to get at the "real" personalities of family members who had been Touched By Something Strange... I think that was my first flash on just how fucked up and fragile human identities were and it... yeah, you're you, you can fill in the rest.

@JulieSqveakaroo @001zlnv I had SO MANY weird little tics like that too! (Had... heh.... yeah. *looks out window, blows, and counts to three*)

@DifficultToTame Honestly? I focus on the negative here, and yeah I HAVE been mightily stressed over our still-unresolved Attic Cat Situation, but...

We're OK. :D I'm missing my old life in Seattle with a huge queer furry community something fierce, even if I feel like I was always kept at arms' length from it. But my finances are brighter than they've ever been, we have a safe and repeatable short-term Cat Rescue method for now, turns out I DID NOT HAVE COVID...

So really? The support and empathy delight me ( <3 ) but the fact I can even HAVE existental ennui is probably a sign that I'm far enough up the Hierarchy of Needs to be more or less all right. ;)

@Phorm The short version of my observation: while the illusion that the Cool People have Cool Lives all the time can be agonizingly strong, in my experience from the brief time I was even debatably a Cool Person I came to realize...

The actual Cool Moments come in bursts. Even if someone is Cool their whole life, the actual amount of time they spend doing Cool Things amounts to maybe a fortieth of their waking hours.

In other words, someone could *conceivably* have one Very Cool Year and have done as much Cool Stuff as anyone else. <3

@Phorm I do actually have an insight about this from my own checkered life that I think you might find helpful. Ironically, I also don't have the time *today*. But I really want to talk to you soon. <3

@001zlnv I DID actually fall off one and hit my head when I was 4-5. Let to a lifelong fear of heights and climbing but didn't do to seem hany arm.

Hey, who's got six paws, another new managerial-level responsibility at work, a performance bonus coming in May, and a $25 per paycheck bonus for home office expenses?!? THIS MANTICORE! ​​​

@001zlnv Tried. Failed. Fell off jungle gym and woke up here. ;>

@Leucrotta And he's petting his poodle Frunobulax
And staining sheet music with black
Singing G-Spot Tornado
On the phone to potatoes
While Dinah Moe's humming out back

(That's a quote from In The Mouth of Madness. Good film. Feels relevant. Wish it didn't. Wish I didn't feel so much like a Light That Failed today. Wish I didn't know deep down in my heart that if Sutter Cane showed up at my doorstep, I'd probably invite him right in, because any magic is better than none.)

"Trent stood at the edge of the rip, stared into the illimitable gulf of the unknown, the stygian world yawning blackly beyond. Trent's eyes refuse to close. He did not shriek, but the hideous unholy abominations shrieked for him as in the same second he saw them spill and tumble upward out of an enormous carrion black pit, choked with the gleaming white bones of countless unhallowed centuries. Trent began to back away from the rip as the army of unspeakable figures twilit by the glow from the bottomless pit came pouring at him toward our world."

I can't, Trent.

I read it to the end.

Thanks for the softball, Worldle, but I'm still mad about Nauru yesterday.

#Worldle #46 1/6 (100%)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🎉
https://worldle.teuteuf.fr

i am no longer friends with worldle

fuck worldle

fuck [obscure-ass country name redacted]

#Worldle #45 X/6 (89%)
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🟩🟩🟨⬜⬜➡️
🟩🟩🟩⬜⬜↘️
🟩🟩🟩⬜⬜➡️
🟩🟩🟩🟩⬜↖️
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https://worldle.teuteuf.fr

i can not fucking wait until i hear the fuck back from my therapist

i know she's swamped rt now, she's the nicest person, was SO PATIENT when one of my appointments took place DURING an Artie rescue, but...

god i need to talk to someone who isn't peg and hasn't heard all my shit a million times before and isn't mired in it with me

Current mental location: somewhere on the road between "scaring myself shitless over the studies that even mild COVID causes brain damage, because I'm not 100% sure I did the home test right and I've ALREADY probably got some dain bramage from a post-viral syndrome I got when I was 19" and "absolutely livid at the Reddit hoi polloi for not reading the goddamned article-- which says it's equivalent to about a year of extra brain aging and mostly affects the goddamn olfactory system-- and screaming OH MY GOD IT'S GONNA BE IDIOCRACY NOW"

i hate hate hate hate hate brains

this is why i was a transhumanist -- i was never some dipshit libertarian who thought Moore's Law was gonna make us wise somehow -- i just absolutely fucking want us all off this shitty broken platform, made out of wet fat and engineered for self-delusion-- as soon as possible

@anthracite Have done!

You know, I think my whole Deal with Artie -- other than the fact she's an adorable and mostly-friendly kitty-- is that she reminds me so much of me.

I know she's not really stupid. She's... she's obsessed with chasing something she doesn't quite understand. And man, if that isn't me too, little sister. 🐯​❤️​

I've joked that Artie is Peg and my moms' revenge for having to raise us. We'll never be cursed with the obnoxious "gifted" (read: "just smart enough to be a problem") children we deserve. So the Fates found a way and gave us a very "gifted" cat...

It dawned on me today that if cats have any kind of culturally native magical system, it probably revolves heavily around poo.

@JulieSqveakaroo Yeah, that is also very likely. I just know I brushed the outside of the test strip faintly with my finger because I twitched just as I was finishing up. Still, I am triple-vaxxed, so yeah, it's also very plausible that it's something else AND I fucked the test up. :)