Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

OK how the in actual fuck do you not recognize this bit as satire after the "VIP table at Chili's" line?

I really don't like my allies sometimes, did I mention that? Painful thickness exists on both sides of the political fence.

@zx3 oh SWEET SEKHMET'S FIERY TITS do i wish i could D:

but i think i *am* gonna punt work until the night shift and have a good solid big-as-all-outdoors sprawling manticore nap

Welp. Woke up this morning to the sound of two strangers discussing aluminum siding about ten feet away. Had a panicky hunch that proved correct: two insurance inspectors on the property next door, the one Artie's been getting stuck in.

They told me the owner was on his way, so I lingered outside until he showed. He was a total asshole at first, went into the standard spiel about "how crazy it is to feed feral cats" before I could even explain that THEY'RE NEUTERED, DOMESTICATED, BOX-TRAINED, AND ARE PRACTICALLY HOUSECATS.

But I'm very proud of myself. I was STRESSED AS FUCK after that interaction but I took five minutes of deep breaths and grasped the nettle. I went up to him as polite and conciliatory as I could and offered "Hey, could we... maybe put down some cat repellent or something? We'll gladly pay. We don't want them in there any more than you do!"

He seemed to soften up a little after that. He said it wasn't necessary, and when it comes time to fix up the property, he'll come knock on our door and we'll figure out how to best keep the cats out of his business.

I'm nervous as hell still, he did NOT seem happy we'd been sneaking into his property and leaving the back door propped... but he not only did not threaten to call the cops or anything, he didn't even close up the back door!

So I think we might be okay in the long run. And I am still SHAKING, especially 'cause the LAST crisis (ear infection) hasn't even resolved and I was BRACED for the next one to start.

But I am SO PROUD of myself for totally taking the reins of my Big Evil Hateful Catbeast Temper and being conciliatory. I think I won my Diplomacy roll with the guy.

Wish us luck. 'Cause if ONE HAIR ON ONE CAT'S HEAD GETS HURT over this, there will be war and I might be fundraising for bail money someday. :)

By far the two most important realizations in my quest for sanity over the last 15 years:

1) Recognizing that people I don't like, and who do't like me, don't get to vote in any referendum about my self-image

2) Recognizing that IT'S COMPLETELY OKAY if I meet a cool person who is totally indifferent to me. I don't need everybody to be my friend, especially not my friends' friends, ESPECIALLY if all we've got in common is an interest.

you know, comrades, when Devo said "eliminate the ninnies and the twits," they weren't being metaphorical

bash 'em 🐯​

@xinjinmeng @Phorm @JoyfulSkunk You rrrrrrang?

@Phorm I have no idea, but now Artie's demanding the one in the glasses' phone number and I blame you for opening up this whole can of worms. >__~

It should be tradition that when you are old and near death, and you have nothing to lose, you do your best to take one complete asshole with you.

I might give it a shot in 30-40 years myself, if such years exist.

@Orb2069 I feel just the same way when it's a corporate environment like a supermarket. This is a local cafe with, like, free-range baristas so I think it's just a big music nerd with VERY GOOD retro tastes in this case. :D

This was some pretty deep cut stuff, too! Honestly? Any corporate entity that even knew enough about Pylon to exploit me through it will probably get what they wanted out of me, because damn, that would be some commitment to pandering. XD

(I think it blows Peg's mind sometimes that SHE'S the kind, charitable one, but she wears it well. 😽​)

My entire life with Peggy in several images, courtesy of the show Schmigadoon...

@Leucrotta Yeah, see, you get it. I CAN NOT EVEN BEGIN TO TELL YOU how much I wish there were a cake party, and I will keep hoping...

(For the record, the "Frank" there is Frank Conniff of MST3k, who had been making a similar argument to mine and was getting DRILLED by Grim Tankies*, and I WILL fight anyone who says a word against the guy. :> )

* if you resemble that remark I still love you very much but you are what you are and I am not one of you <3

Don't have energy to debate it individually, but... As for Frank and America, if there's ANYBODY out there running around trying to, say, find cake ingredients in the break room under everybody's nose and MAKE some fucking cake on the sly in the microwave, so we don't have the eat the moldy cracker OR the turd, I 100% support them. :)

That whole thing was written at a time -- Nov 2020 -- where it was IMHO very clear that it was either "cracker" or "turd." And it was posted in frustration at someone on the Federated timeline who did not seem to geth that THERE WAS NO CAKE ON THE MENU in the situation they were raving about.

I want to go on the record as saying I 100% supporting doing ANY GOD DAMNED THING YOU CAN POSSIBLY DO to get us some cake in 2024. D: Shit, if your plan is to stomp the cracker on the ground and run down the street and triumphantly return with a cake, yes, please, do that. D: D: D:

I am skeptical. I really think it's gonna be cracker vs. turd again. But I REALLY DO NOT WANT THE CRACKER EITHER, BECAUSE WE ALL DESERVE SOME FUCKING CAKE RIGHT NOW and I hope that much was clear. :)

@001zlnv With my geo research job, just take a moment to imagine what kind of ads *I* get. Half of them are not even in the Latin alphabet. >__<

@Leucrotta If you can find a cake, of course you should get a cake. At the time of that piece's writing, there was clearly no cake. 🤷​

@Phorm Yeah, honestly, after all this nonsense I found it kinda comforting that your tribe has the sense to just CALL IT WATER, because everybody knows what f'in water is... -_-

guess i gotta drag this one out again

@Austin_Dern This "Galaxy Brain" garbage, too. How many 4channers are now running around confidenty parroting these as "official" names for water?!?

It's obviously just someone fucking around with nomenclature rules for fun, but THERE'S NOTHING TO TELL YOU THAT IN THE MEME.

I curse the uploader with one million lost exam points.

@Austin_Dern Yeah. 'Cause I had an ACTUAL SERIOUS FACTUAL QUESTION and their goddamn meme trod all over all hopes of answering it correctly, because Being Cute On The Internet is more important than knowing about the universe.

And it feels like such a metaphor for EVERYTHING that is fucked up with us right now, because the cute memes ALWAYS win over the dull facts and I am almost literally sick to death over it, certainly sick to the point of daily existential dread and I am not exaggerating. 😱​